.
I can't do this anymore. It's time to say goodbye.
life
I want to get these words off my chest, get them out into the open. But how? How do I confront my biggest fear, my deepest desires. I'm so used to helping others and not caring about how I'm feeling that sometimes it slips my mind that I have s*** of my own to deal [..more..]
Why
I feel left out all the time. Like, I'm different from everyone. People come to me when they need help but just don't give a f*** about me after that. It makes me feel like I'm alone in this world. It hurts.
.
I hate myself. Everything that makes me who I am. I don't wish to live anymore.
GOD ANONYMOUS
GOD, M. IS ABOUT WORK TO GO. SITTING IN ROOM, LIVING. WHEN MONIES START TALKING ABOUT IT, DON'T KNOW. IT DOESN'T MATTER? LET THINGS THING AND LET MATTER MATTER, LIKE THE GUY FROM REMAINDER! WE ALLWAYS FORGET ABOUT THAT GUY. NO MEMORY, TRAUMA, NO PAST, NO PRESENT, NO FUTURE. SILENTLY ANONYMOUS, -THE ARCHER
EMBARASSMENT AND SHAME ANONYMOUS
GOD, I AM COMING TO GOD IN THE NAME OF STEP 6. I NEED TO HUMBLY APPROACH AND ENCOUNTER GOD, IN THE NAME OF GOD. TO REMOVE THESE DEFECTS OF CHARACTER; EMBARASSMENT, HUMILIATION, SUPEREGO, INAUTHENTICITY, AND SHAME. BECAUSE IF I CAN'T GET PAST STEP SIX, I WON'T BE ABLE TO TAKE STEP SEVEN. SO GOD, [..more..]
DUAL DISORDERS + DIAGNOSES ANONYMOUS
GOD, I AM SAD BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE I FAILED. I DRANK THE KOMBUCHA. (BUT M. SAID IT WAS OKAY. JUST TO TELL OPA THE TRUTH!) WHICH I DID BUT IT IS NOT M.'S FAULT THAT I ALLWAYS WANT TO IMPLICCATE HER SO THAT I CAN BLAME HER WHEN THE CHIPS FALL WHERE THEY MIGHT. [..more..]
RELAPSE ANONYMOUS
GOD, IT SEEMS LIKE I RELAPSED A COUPLE OF DAYS AGO ON KOMBUCHA. I REALLY THOUGHT THAT BECAUSE IT ONLY HAD A LITTLE ALCOHOL THAT EVERYTHING MIGHT BE OKAY. I WASN'T TRYING TO GET DRUNK ON IT. I JUST WANTED TO ACKNOWLEDGE THE PARTS OF EXPERIENCE THAT I HAPPIFY? I HAVE TO MAKE AN AMENDS [..more..]
What do I do about him?
I kinda reconnected with a man who I have had a crush on since I was 13 on Facebook. Today is our friend anniversary. Should I send him our FB anniversary?
RESENTMENTS ANONYMOUS
GOD, HERE ARE THESE RESENTORS? RESENTMENTS? BETH – BLAMES EVERYONE EXCEPT GOD. DOESN'T SHOW UP FOR HER RECOVERY. IS LAZY AND FAT. GRETCHEN – THINKS SHE OWNS THE HOUSE. WANTS TO CONTROL EVERYTHING. WANTS TO RUN THE ENTIRE SHOW; LIGHTING, ACTORS, THE STAGE, ETC. SELF-ESTEEM, SECURITY, PERSONAL RELATIONS, WELL-BEING I DON'T KNOW WHAT MY PART [..more..]