Loss
My dad passed away
An unsent letter or two
Dear N Why the f*** did you stop talking to me. We had something, something good. I know last year I wasn't nice but once I realized how amazing you are, we were friends. And then for some reason, you slammed the f***ing door in my face. I told you a long time ago I [..more..]
Want
So my birth parents want me to come live them, but I don't want to. I want to stay with my adoptive mother who adopted me when I was a baby
For your sake
I try to hold my tongue for your sake, But can't you see how much I fake? A smile, emotions, feelings, all at stake. Can't you see how hard it is to make, Everything go away, when it shakes? The tire even fall asleep at a faster rate… All of the problems in my life, [..more..]
Farted On By Girlfriend’s Mom
I was in the kitchen preparing some toast and felt a fart coming on. I didn't think anyone else was around so I let it go, it was a bit loud. "Luka, did you just pass gas in my kitchen?" Girlfriend's mom had walked in without me noticing. She's about 5'7 with shoulder-length red hair. [..more..]
The Truth
I was always… different. The looks people gave me, the things I felt, I imagined, I saw, I craved… I assumed it was normal. When I realized I was different, rather than deal with the fact something was wrong with me, I decided it simply meant I was destined for greatness and that I could [..more..]
Aunt
My Aunt farted in my face, and turned around and said '"OH MY GOSH I'M SO SORRY! I THOUGHT YOU WERE (INSERT UNCLE NAME)". I hate my life
Grandma
Grandma loves Mortal Kombat and even dressed up as Scorpion last year
Family
The contests were a weird little bonding experience for the two women. They were never planned. The competitions were never consistent. It was more of a ‘anything you can do, I can do better’ sort of thing. Once Tom found out—when he happened to walk in on his mother burping the alphabet and his wife [..more..]
Grandma
It is 2 am, my grandma is drunk and just attempted to fart the ABC song. She got to D and pooped her pants