Its a lot
I have a lot to say. Im, conflicted with myself. I have to be the biggest appeaser in the world, Ill give people what they want. Theyll make me feel guilty, and then Ill be angry that they’re doing it, but still I give in. I won’t reach out to people, I feel like theyll [..more..]
Just a bit about who I am
I am me I really don’t know what to say or how to put this into words but I wanted to think a little bit about who I am. And it’s stumped me. I’m socially retarded, to be honest. I have very few friends. I am very smart… While my lack of friends hurts me [..more..]
Hypocrite hypocrite hypocrite
My boyfriend and I are Christians. We met because we both volunteered in the children’s nursery at church. We’ve been dating for three years now, and it’s getting harder and harder to wait for sex… We plan on getting married when I graduate from college, and have a steady job. He’s going to college in [..more..]
Something
I wonder what’s going to happen to us? We love each other and are happy with each other, but the people around us dont want us to be together, I wonder how long we will last? Why did we have to be different religions? I wonder how long before we crack under the pressure and [..more..]
What Am I Doing
Sometimes I just want a place to share my thoughts and even my problems away from reality. I want someone to read or listen without knowing who I am or where I come from. I hope maybe this can be the place. The place away from all of my “friends” and all of the people [..more..]
meh don’t know what to call this
Sometimes I feel absolutely alone, even when there are people around me. I just get to where I feel isolated from the world around me. I don’t know why I feel like this, I have great friends that I can be totally honest around and such, but it still happens. The really weird thing is [..more..]
Grass is always greener on the other side
I’m starting to realize that all the things I want in life is just that. A want. It is not a need that I will die without, and waiting isn’t going to hurt me either. Even with this new realization, I’m having trouble adjusting. I feel, inadequate and so poor. I have so many things [..more..]
Self-Preservation
Stop yourself from hurting yourself farther. Stop. Its so much easier said than done. I used to think self-preservation was something the mind always turned to, no matter what. I guess the older you get, the less that kicks in. Unnecessary pain is no longer cautioned—we go about it, every day wondering why our lives [..more..]
Lingering
GET OUT OF MY HEAD please. I’m really tired of this. It’s maddening. Please stop. I thought I was rid of you—I’m gone now, I’ve left, but you’re still here. You’re here when I hear my favorite songs, when I close my eyes. At night you are the one holding me. But then my eyes [..more..]
Knowing you is dangerous
This love affair – though it’s hardly begun yet and it’s been nearly a year – is the most challenging thing I’ve ever experienced. So hard not to obsess over you, so hard not to make validation from you the main motivation in my life. But if I do that, nothing will ever happen. I’ve [..more..]