untitled
January 28, 2020 10:14 PM So parents Called again at night. I ignored their call in the daytime because I didn't want to listen to their hurtful talks. The same reason I told them about the Bell internet installation plan via text. Now I answered the call. After asking about the internet installation and bathroom [..more..]
Lost.
I think I am on the verge of losing my mind. I'm unemployed though I was an above average student. I live in a place which oozes toxicity: it is taking a toll on my mental health. My self-esteem is non-existent, I can't even speak like I used to. I'm afraid of all the judgment [..more..]
Regrets
I cant believe my life turned out to be this way. For someone who sees me Im happy picture perfect family. But its not the same inside. Im empty I have no love no close friends or family to talk. I have no one. I feel alone most of the time. The only person I [..more..]
Dating shouldn’t be Work?
I don't date. I dont. I thnk it because I found it easier to say no rather than saying yes. I recently realized that philosophy is wrong. I'm trying to be more open and that means saying yes to thing id usually say no to. So when a guy from my job asked me out [..more..]
Driving fast
Drove by a sign today, going fast my eyes couldn't make out what it said so my brains did the filling in, Dildo Consignment.
Shifting through things
I talk about a lot of nonsense garbage that I wasn't even interested in saying almost as if I couldn't control my mouth and the mundane sounds it was making.AS you know people can always tell when you fake the funk, its the small unconscious things that tell you what to do next. I can [..more..]
Life sucks
Yes that’s the truth. Humans nowadays work so hard to earn money and don’t even have time to really enjoy them. Yes we do have our vacations and weekends but we still think about work and we only have so few vacations after long periods of hard work. I know all these but I can’t [..more..]
What did that do for me
Just needed a place to write, somewhere to write (haha), get it off my chest, put it out there so it's not up here, release creativity, let go, somewhere I could vent, be me, pretend that I had closure, defended myself from childhood trauma, love, not put my burdens on others, or have them see [..more..]
Pick and choose your battles carefully
I'm an easy target Left myself open Blinded Thought it was all in my head You aimed your daggers Made plenty of shots You should be so proud Never had I stooped so low You almost got me to hit the ground Twelve inches of top soil over me low For what? Did I come [..more..]
can’t see
Can't you see the sadness in my eyes even when I smile you don't see the sadness. All you see are other people who are unhappy and you think that expressing is the only way to say you're depressed. Some people show signs, I literally sometimes tell people that I am depressed but you don't [..more..]