Somewhere To Write

Posted by Anonymous on 2020/06/15 under Life

I don't date. I dont. I thnk it because I found it easier to say no rather than saying yes. I recently realized that philosophy is wrong. I'm trying to be more open and that means saying yes to thing id usually say no to. So when a guy from my job asked me out i said yes.
I know its wrong to think to think of it this way but the date felt like work. I felt like I was trying extra hard to be positive and outgoing bjt I wasn't really into him or the experience. It wasn't anything about him. I just felt this extreme reluctantance and awkwardness. I didn't really talk to him that much at work. But then I think to myself "the whole point of a date is to get to know the other person better.
I think another reason i feel awkward or reluctant is my lack of self confidence. I tend to feel like I make some people feel uncomfortable and often censor myself to make others comfortable. With close friends I can be my wacky and nerdy self but I didn't feel like me when I was on the date. More of a fake preppy and watery down version.

I think I rather get to know him as a friend first rather than a boyfriend.I want dating to be fun. I think the way i approached this date made the experience not great.I think I may have gotten nervous and got stuck on the idea that it was an actual date. Instead of thinking of it as a regular fun outing I made it into a werid meeting. I want to have more fun dating experiences so I'm going to change my approach and thought process.

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