christmas without my dad
is it so bad to move on if your dad would have wanted you to be successful? I feel such guilt, it’s only been a short time and i feel terrible but still need to keep going, i feel so many things all the time and don’t know how to grieve fully there is no [..more..]
Gains and Losses
It’s December 24, of 2014 and the year is almost over. I have accomplished much, gained much, and lost much all within this beautiful, heartbreaking year. I can only ever hope to accomplish, and gain more and what I have lost within the new one. This is my first journal entry and everyone keeps asking [..more..]
Another year
Another year and I’m still broke with no friends, smack from my parents and a hard time at school. What type of life do I live? I wish I had friends to hang out with and maybe someone real close but hell all these girls are nothing but hoes, lesbians, confused. And my parents I [..more..]
Is it really that funny
Is it really that funny that I’m fat. I don’t get it, my whole family blames me for being fat. It it really that funny that I’m fatter than you. Is it really necessary to laugh. Why, why is it that funny huh. I don’t get why anyone would laugh at that. What you want [..more..]
I f***ed up
I did it again. I did it f***ing again. Why, why do I always do this. I was trying to force him. I wasn’t trying to pressure him into doing anything. I just want to tell him how I feel. I can understand that its annoying to constantly be told over and over again but [..more..]
Dispassionate On Christmas Eve
It hasn’t felt like Christmas to me for as long as i can remember and i just want real, down to earth friends that actually care Do you ever seriously feel alone as f*** in a room full of people who are your ‘friends’?
Doubts
It Christmas Eve and here I am in my dark room typing away my emotions. It doesn’t feel like Christmas when your parents are fighting in the living room over a situation that you have caused. It doesn’t feel like the holidays when my whole body is filled with anxiety. It doesn’t feel like the [..more..]
The Holidays
I don’t know if it’s just me or if it’s what he did to me that makes me dislike, no, not dislike but HATE the holidays. I wish I could be happy and I wish I just I don’t know. I feel stupid right now, just typing whatever comes to my mind. But I don’t [..more..]
Isolation
At some point you stop and realise that the people who are supposed to be your best friends aren’t. It isn’t because they’re b****y or conspiring against you, but because you realise that they know hardly anything about you, and you never tell them your feelings. You push yourself away and you pretend that you [..more..]
End of 2014
For many, life changing events have happened in 2014. We can’t help but hold on to the past. I want you know that no matter how many devastating event happen, God always has something in store.