Posted by Anonymous on 2014/12/25 under Friends At some point you stop and realise that the people who are supposed to be your best friends aren’t. It isn’t because they’re b****y or conspiring against you, but because you realise that they know hardly anything about you, and you never tell them your feelings. You push yourself away and you pretend that you don’t care, but thats when you realise that you have no one to turn to when your sad, or no one to send this message to. Being alone is scary, but the worst part is that you’re not. You could tell someone everything and maybe the loneliness would end, but you can’t. You don’t know why. You just can’t. Some days you feel great, some days you’re happy that you’re fine on your own, and others you just wish that you could be a part of the jokes rather than the subject of them. You find yourself avoiding meeting up automatically even if you really want to go, and you end up knowing that it is all your fault. You pushed yourself away. You convinced yourself that they didn’t care, not even giving them a chance. You didn’t trust them to know what you love and you didn’t let them hear your secrets. It gets to a point where there is no turning back, and that’s when it’s too late. You wish you could tell someone this, but you don’t think they’ll understand. If they tell you that your fears are true, and that people don’t like you as much as they used to, that will confirm the growing isolation. If they say that it’s all in your head, it means that it is all your fault and you know you’re not strong enough to fix it. You can’t decide which is worse.