Starving to be Substantial
I’m not sure what else to say except that while I’m relatively healthy (minus the suicidal tendencies) for my frame, I feel hideous and grotesque. I haven’t eaten more than 500 calories for some time now. I don’t consider myself to be anorexic, particularly since I don’t have a lethal condition. My body needs to [..more..]
Alone.
I feel so apart from people. I look around and see the people around me laughing and talking with each of their friends. I am always surrounded by those people, unintentionally mocking me with their happiness and friendship while I stand alone, unseen and unwanted. If only I could be truly invisible, then I could [..more..]
Just a Dream
As a little girl, I never had a father in my life. Being a child, I never thought much of it. It seemed I thought he would someday show up, and be like all the other girls daddies. More and more as I grew up, I started to realize, maybe he never will show up. [..more..]
07-03-12(6:03:26)
Here’s to the ugly the misunderstood The one’s who will never Be any real good. The losers, the drop outs the back of the pack The ones no one knows, average Joe, or was it Jack? To the ones always hidden behind their own hair, To anyone who can say “I have been there.” Yes, [..more..]
30-11-11(4:23:42)
It makes me feel…sort of scared; guilty, when you talk about how things make you mad – anger over all scares me, and yours makes me get that twisting, guilty disappointed feeling in my stomach. It makes me want to curl up away from everything and pity you…but at the same time avoid you. When [..more..]
24-08-11(9:57:36)
Dear Ken, You have no idea how happy you once made me. How much you could make me laugh. For a while I even thought “Hey, here is one person who won’t tire you out. Not like the others, the ‘squad’ members who just left you in the dirt.” It’s not that I’m being smothered, [..more..]
24-08-11(9:43:06)
I want to die. And not in an overdramatic 17 year old girl kind of way. I’m not going to act on it. I never will. I’m definitely not gutsy enough. Today I did something that was my personal equivalent of coming out, and it definitely did not feel good, and afterwards all I really [..more..]
23-07-11(22:24:57)
I feel like im broke. All the disaters and killings and violence around the world. and i can do nothing on my own to stop it. To say i am helpless to help is selfish, bring a wider topic back to myself and my problems. I dont have problems, i just over exagerate small things [..more..]