Somewhere To Write

Posted by Anonymous on 2018/01/19 under Life

i just dont know anymore i just feel so lonley. i look around and see that everyone is happu, and the there is just me. dont get me wrong i am happy sometimes so when they ask how im doing i say fine or ok and im not lying because i can still laugh and tell jokes and be happy. but when im alone i just feel so alone and i know other people that feel the same and mabye even worse but that just doest seem like the truth at the time. i dont want to go throught the pain anymore i am just sad and angry and i come home from school and i just cry my moms excuse is 'your just tired' yah right she knows thats not it she has seen my cuts on my wrist and she didnt say anything she dosent care about me that way all she cares about is how i look to other people as long as our family looks good she doesnt care, no one believes me because they all think my mom is this saint then why am i cutting myself to not be one this earth. im in 8th grade do you know that im 13 years old i am not even half way through my life and i already want to end it thats just sad and i cant do anything about it i just feel like people think they understand me because i think im pretty popular i have lots of friends who like me and i am doing good on money with my family. we are the poster white family but thats not enough to make me truely happy, i tried dating a lot of guys to make myself feel better like if someone else is calling me pretty than maybe i will believe it but i didint and it just made me more sad to break up with them i dont know why i did that i just wanted to and so i did i dont think and i dont really want to. but what i was talking about is i just feel lonely and no one can help my mom even got me a therapist he is alright nice guy nice family but i just feel so hopeless that i dont think he will work so he dosent it is all in my head but it wont stop i cant stop and no amount of mental help can fix that. i love to write but i can never put the pages togeather it just doesbt come easy to me. i guess thats really all i have to say i dont think anyone read this far even with all my typos no one really cares but cool thanks if you did i wont know if you did and you dont know that i even see that you made it thriught the whole thing but thanks.

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