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Posted by on 2020/04/14 under Love

I wanna have a future with you Mosh. I wanna spend the rest of my life with you by my side.

Tonight, it really breaks my heart when I told you that maybe we don't have a future together. That maybe in the end we're just gonna fall apart. I didn't mean it though. I am just afraid, afraid 'cause I know if your family happens to dislike me for sure you would choose them over me and I totally understand that. It is just that I am really scared when it comes. I'm sorry if I ever hurt you by making you think that I'm letting you go and that setting you free is just an easy thing for me to do. Believe me, it's not and it will never be. I never want to let you go but why do I feel like I have to. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. If you only knew how much I love you, how much I wanted to be your wife. Mosh I wanna have a family with you, but I just can't set aside this feeling that I'm not good enough for you. Your family does'nt know much about me, you avoid talking about me when you are with your family, when I'm with you and they called you up, you never tell them that we're together. Mosh everytime you are hiding me from them you're just making my dreams impossible to come true. I tried so hard to hide my disappointment and my pain whenever you refuse to talk about me and our relationship with your family and friends and even with our officemates, but tonight I just can't keep it inside anymore and so I messed up and told you that maybe it's better for us to break up in the end. I don't want to end it with you, but you're making me feel that I have to. I love you Mosh. I really love you. I want this to work. I want us to last forever but how? How can I stay with you if you're not letting me be part of your life? It's not just about you and me when we start a family. We need to be part of each others world, but how? How can I be part of yours, when you are not letting me? When will you stop hiding me Mosh? When will you start telling the world that you love me? When will you stop making me feel like we are in a secret relationshp? When will you ever tell everyone that you are proud to have me? When will I ever see your world? When will you let me be part of of it??

I'm hurting. I'm in deep pain. I can't breath just by thinking that I will never be enough for you. I know how much you love me. But maybe I'm not good enough to be part of your family. And that really breaks me.

2 thoughts on “My Old Soul’s Haven

  1. Anonymous says:

    You know, instead of taking the blame and saying you’re not enough, how about acknowledging your worth and all the patience you’ve had throughout all this? I think you’re a strong woman in love. And if Mosh is the man for you, of he’s the right one, don’t let him go. Talk to him, open up to him. I mean, how do you expect to work things out and have an infinite future with a man you can’t talk to about something that he’s been doing and you cannot cope with ? Tell him how you feel and what you want. Tell him how much he means to you, but also tell him what bothers you and could be a deal breaker. Don’t give up if there’s still a chance to fix things okay ? You can do this sweetie

  2. Anonymous says:

    Thank you

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