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Posted by on 2019/04/21 under Love

You said to me that I should know that you have feelings for me. I said I don’t understand why? I am not worthy of someone as intelligent and as beautiful as you. You said you didn’t understand why I would say that. I said you would never understand. My mind always thought it would be a joy if you felt for me. And now that you do, I don’t know how to convince my mind. My heart soars, it leaps, and it summersaults, and my mind? It holds me back and it says I am getting ahead of myself. How will this work? How will I be able to hold myself up if yet another love fails. How will I start again with someone new? The thought of exposing my feelings, my insecurities, my fears and my hopes to you is unthinkable to me. Then to rebuild that wall when you eventually leave me or worse yet get bored of me, is a painful burden. Yet I know it is inevitable. You said let’s try it out for a while. I said I don’t want to become attached to you and then watch you leave me stuck with all these feelings and memories. You and I don’t think the same. You will run and I will sink. Yet the butterflies in my stomach, the feeling of light pink and yellow flowers with bright green stems growing within me tells me its ok. They tell me that it’s worth it. They tell me to give it a chance, to not let them down, to not let them wilt and to grow them and water them and love them. And so, with a heavy mind, a thumping heart and a fluttering stomach, I put my trembling hand in his.

One thought on “a butterfly

  1. Anonymous says:

    Follow up story?
    Did it end or lasted forever?
    Were you ever frank with him on these thoughts?
    Why can’t you both decide and work things out every time and why there be a possibility of falling out of love?
    Why not a life-long commitment?
    Are you both not able to figure out things right now and foresee if you would want each other forever or not?
    Why does it have to end? Why inevitable?

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