Somewhere To Write

Posted by Anonymous on 2017/08/13 under Love

I know you've been busy, you have other things to do maybe I'm just being dramatic because I miss you. The way you talk, the way you text, it doesn't seem like you, you weren't as busy before but it's still different. Your off putting you don't even seem like you care, it's been a full week and not a single call. Yes you have been busy this week but before when you were here we talked all day hardly on text just call hours long. I miss that. Yea your busy and I don't want to be clingy but I miss you. Because your important to me. You don't say you love me, until I say it. You used to say it without me ever saying it. Maybe this relationship has gone in reverse because it's like the more I love you the less you love me. And I'm scared to send this. Because these small things make me feel like everything will break… and end. Because I've never been so scared of us breaking up. Maybe I'm totally off but I'm just too used to things ending out bad, and people leaving me. I haven't told you everything. That's because the more I tell these things to the people I trust. It's like I lose them. I lose what I think is my safe space. I didn't realize but there is still a lot I haven't told you. But right now I hardly feel like I should tell you. Because I feel like I'm going to lose you. You have other friends, plenty, but I don't. I remember you are busy and I never mean to interrupt or take your time away but. Things right now are hitting me hard mentally and I've never been good at dealing with them by myself but that's all I've ever done. Because I've always been alone. You made me feel like I wasn't alone. That's what I've loved about you. You make me feel like everything can still end up okay. Like I'm still okay. But I'm not. I don't remember the last time I truly have been okay. I'm not naturally a happy person. On the inside I'm cold, sad and afraid. I don't show it. I try not to show it. But when I'm with you I feel happy, on the inside I forget about everything I'm afraid of. I've messed up so much, I've broken promises and I wish I hadn't but all I've ever wanted was to be happy. But that goal just keeps getting harder to reach.

Recent Comments

• Adel on Arman’s menu
• Anonymous on Day I took a shot the Subway suicide poster
• Anonymous on You Know What Really Sucks Part 2
• Anonymous on A short thought about life itself and God.
• Anonymous on No body cares

Tags