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Posted by on 2021/05/06 under Life

I’m a person who is too kind, too nice. I easily got drawn into other people’s problems and solve their issues and forgot about my time and my health.

I used fo think it was my previous job that overworked me. But it turned out that it’s my tendency. I tend to respond to customers as quickly as I can and I devote myself to solving problems for them. Most of the times, they don’t even thank me. Problem solved, and they’re gone.

Managers don’t care either. Even if your negative feedback is 4.5% and your positive feedback is 75%. They don’t care. I still fail. I still have to reflect on the f***ing unfair negative ratings. The positive ones don’t matter. The managers only look at numbers.

I thought my old job sucks because of s***ty colleagues that I had to endure. Yes it was tough working with difficult colleagues that’s why I left. But the job itself was not too busy during the day (though I do work at night). Anyway it wasn’t good so I left. I thought I found a better job, but !

Yes it’s better in some ways and I do enjoy some parts of it. But it’s sucky in general and I know thati won’t want to do it for a long time.

I think the troubleshooting part is very fun but I hate working with people who are rude or not cooperative. Or stupid. Or mean. Or ridiculous. !!! Oh well, i try to ignore them for now okay.

And I really need to control my time better. I’m spending my lunches, my evenings, my weekends, my holidays doing work. This sucks. I have to accept that I need time to learn and grow in my job. It takes time. Don’t go overboard ok. Have patience. Slowly learn and learn and learn I will surely get better. No need to burn myself out. But yeah i think weekends learning are still needed because I literally have zero time during my working hours for elearning. The KPIs are insane. Insane.

Oh yeah talking about KPI. Insane. I think the KPI makes sense for seniors but for new hires. Just ridiculous!!!!

But I believe this will pass. I overcame lots of challenges in my old job too!

Hopefully by month 6 which is 4 months from now I will feel comfortable in my role. And I can start learning more coding and investment.

My plan is to leave my job after max 3 years and leave the corporate world altogether.

I want to do freelance web design work half day and half day invest.
I also want to learn chinese omg! And 2nd child.

So from now to month 6 i still need to focus on learning about my job but after that i will balance out other things too. I think it’s impossible to know everything anyway so just learn as I do. No need to try to know everything immediately. Jack’s advice is precious. And Jason’s too! You will only know 30% of things but you will have tools and skills to help you find information.

Sometimes I think about becoming a manager but I don’t think I like to manage people at all. People and people issues. Yuck. I know many bad managers though who actually don’t care. But do I want to become a bad manager? I don’t think so. I hate meetings and presentations too. So nah.

Ok now i sleep. My short term goal is to focus on my job in the next few months but maximum month 6 la.

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