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Posted by on 2020/07/22 under Life

I did it twice. The first time was when I was interning at a furniture showroom. I threw a tantrum at a full-time employee there who was older than me. That was awkward. I didn’t think much back then and even found it “cool” that the guy didn’t say anything back and didn’t even show that he was upset with my behaviour.

Then just not long ago, I lost myself again and shouted at my coworkers over something not really worth it. I lost it because it was a stressful time for me – coming back from maternity leave and found myself taking on a new role involuntarily. I suddenly had multiple clients to manage and that was still ok until I had to work with the creative team who just can’t get their work done properly. I was so frustrated with the creatives. I used to like working with the old creatives: Wan, Knox, Chun. YP was not good either – his work quality was quite lousy. Then the new team always try to refuse to do work because it’s “not scoped for” which is untrue.

Anyway the conflicts were boiling over time and one day exploded when they forgot to deliver one item and the client went berserk. And Joey, who took over my role, went berserk too because she’s also under pressure, and so she scolded me. It was such a tough time. I almost wanted to quit my job. I even prepared my letter of resignation halfway. The workload and loneliness and the lack of support took a great toll on me. And I exploded. It was very wrong of me – I know. I had chosen an unwise way to resolve conflicts.

Today I will still forgive myself. Everyone makes mistakes. And I have to admit that mistakes are as important as, if not more than, achievements. You need them to grow to become a better person. I have been hard on myself and have been hard on other people as well. I have to say that Mun is one of the first persons who could see me through and pointed that out to me. I didn’t realise it before that I quickly criticised people over small mistakes. In the past. Now not anymore. I’m still quick to spot mistakes but I no longer make a fuss about it. Yes I learned and I grew up.

I’m still learning how to control my temper and how to sympathise with other people today. I’m hard on myself so when I see my husband not doing the same I will get frustrated. Yes it’s rightful that you wish to have a partner who can match your level of intelligence or your passion to learn, but if your partner can offer you other good things like loyalty, honesty, love and respect, what else are you asking for? Always always keep your eyes on the most important things in life and don’t get distracted by noise.

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