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Posted by on 2020/04/02 under Life

Until I wasn't. It's hard to admit that you're not alright even though I want to keep telling myself that I will be. I'm lonely in my marriage, although I always have my children around I never talk to anyone around my age. Expect family and they are far too judgmental to tell anything to. I would tell you that I don't care what others think of me, but to some degree we all do, right.

At this point of my life I feel like a complete failure. I told my family that I graduated, but the truth is that I have a Spanish 2 class that I can't pass. That means that I will have to go back and take sign language 1 & 2 in order to get my BS degree. I do not work therefore I have no money of my own. I don't have my own cell phone, I don't have friends (somewhat by choice because I could have stayed in contact). The other day I was upset because I didn't have a retirement plan and I'm turning 32 this year.

I have my sorrows and self pity. I own a car that I truly didn't want, but I let him make most decisions. At moments I feel that he has put in the situation that I'm in because it's easier for him to keep me here. I guess if I could find a job online or at nights it could change, but it's been difficult to find one. And now with the corona companies are laying people off.

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