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Posted by on 2019/09/13 under Life

To my Wife…
Why did you hit me? Why did you scream at me? You've left me with an empty soul, an empty bed, and a broken heart. Never laid a hand on you, always reminded you how much I love you every day. Why didn't you leave when you stopped loving me? Did you feel I needed more punishment? So many questions you'll never answer. 3 children who love us dearly, now choose sides. I've stood by you thru every up and down you've had, yet when my best friend dies in a fatal crash this year you wouldn't even help me grieve.
As I lay here and look around I wait for you to walk in the door and tell me you love me too and missed me. But night after night nothing. I'm 37 now, I've given you my best years and I fear there will be nothing left beyond this. Everyone says I'll be better and j don't deserve this. But this past year you'veade it clear I am worthless,lazy, fat, loser, and a sorry father.
All I ever wanted to be was someone you could count on to lift you up when you were down. So why when I needed lifting up, you kicked me down? Belittled me?
I will never be thean you married because you killed him. Distrust, accusations, and convinced by your self delusion that I'm a horrible person set out to destroy you.
You've walked away when I need you the most, I wish you could see what you are doing to me inside. No one will want me now, not you or anyone new. You've won. If not for my faith I'd already have attempted death.
I miss the wife I knew, not the one who you've become.
But since she is never coming back, I must press on for the benefit of the kids. Not worried about myself. Haven't been since the first one came to us.
Why me??? What made you turn on me?? Why dId you stay hid in the bed away from me and not tell me what was wrong?
My last question….. Why did you take the best part of me(my personality and soul) and break me to the point of never being the same again?
I'll always care for you, but I don't have a heart left anymore to give anyone.
Goodbye Jess. I hope the wind in your sails carries you to the dreams I couldnot help you reach……….. Forever Lost, Greg

2 thoughts on “15 years gone, and I am the one who suffers

  1. Anonymous says:

    Dude! Been there, did that and made it to 18 years before the divorce,kids and all. I know the feeling of emptiness and the tricks the mind plays on you when your alone. Not to mention how when you start feeling good about yourself, something triggers and you start all over again, or she shows up for 5 minutes just to ruin your life some more.


    If you keep thinking of her, she has the control over you and the hurt will never heal, the questions will never end, and you will be a nut case, damaged goods for life… Dont let that happen and dont let this ruin your self esteem and mental mentality. We Guys are stronger than any woman ever dared to be. Thats why they try to tear us down and belittle us in every way. They are like cancer cells on a healthy male body and mind.

    Guys can be angles but in divorce women try their best to make them look like demons from hell to all the peering eyes. That is because they cant deal with reality or truth, that its their fault as well. It takes two.

    You can sit around waiting, but that just says you are gagging for it or her. Her bleeding crack is not worth it, and her mind must be mental as she is gone! Shes gone, took you for the 15 years and doesn’t think to much of you or the marriage, else you two would still be together.

    It hurts like hell I know and there’s a lot of unanswered questions, but quit looking for answers as they will never come. Also quit beating yourself up and wallowing in the mud and clean up and go live life for YOU now! Dont let her win or control your life anymore!

    Sure you have the kids, or on the weekend, so you will most likely see the selfish *#$! and it will try to remind you. Dont Let it. Just think of how many dog kocks she is taking in one day while you have the kids.

    Really? Do you think she is sitting around in gloom and going mental over you? NO, shes out hunting some big Nig-cd*** to fill that grand canyon empty hole. Another way of saying “Shes out looking for some other sucker to pay her monthly bills while she sits on her arse and watches TV.” Bet she has at least 4 on the hook, one for each bill… (electricity, rent, cell phone, and friday night parties).

    Comment back if you need too I am usually trolling this site at least once a week.

    Hang in there bud!

    I might sound deranged but I assure you Im just crazy! NOT!

  2. Anonymous says:

    Why did you hit me?
    Women hit men (which is assault and abuse) because they know they can get away with it. Men are expected to be tough on the exterior and mentally tough (impervious to emotional abuse) on the interior. Judges and society will laugh in the face of any man that even mentions that his wife hit him on many occasions and will not knowledge the actual damages done.

    However, females claim to be tough and can endure so much more (mental and physical) pain than a man as they can bore children, and are exposed to the rigors of mental abuse and stresses, more so than any man cold hope to endure. But in courts and divorce, they portray and convey they are frail orchids that will fall apart at the mere touch or strong wind and deserve special consideration.

    In short, a mans arm could nearly be severed off and he is expected to carry himself as a man and tough it out without a whimper. But women, in all their superiority pain tolerance and abilities, under the same scenario…. The whole world would cease to turn and the world will rush to their aid, sparing no expense to recover the arm and not leave a scar as to keep up that appearance of false beauty.

    In short she knows she can get away with it (anything, legally) Scott free.

    Why did you scream at me?
    Very simply, Shes a slutty ass b**** without any respect for you or your feelings as all women are selfish tramps in fake makeup and only looking for what they can suck out of you. (Your Sanity, Money and life!)

    You’ve left me with an empty soul, an empty bed, and a broken heart.
    What else is new, just wait until you look at your bank account. Once attached… they never stop sucking.

    Just a fallow up….. written by the same guy from above.

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