I haven't been happy in a long time. I'm pretty sure my boyfriend of 6+ years is breaking up with me in a few months at the end of our lease… so, I'm preparing myself for that… I don't know how to be single — it's been so long… I've tried and tried and he's just so mean to me all the time and I don't deserve it.
I also have no motivation to work on things that I know I should in order to get a better job. I just feel like I'm not good enough and don't deserve and can't do anything better than what I have.
I feel like I complain to my friend's too often, but I do my best not to do it too much to each one individually. I just need someone to talk to all the time and it makes me feel weak.
If you've read this far, thank you. I don't know what I'm going to do with my life. I constantly think about just running away. But then I think about all the logistics and it's simply not possible for me at the moment. I don't know. F***.
ALL RELIGION (LEGION) RE-LEGION (EXPERIENCING LEGION AND THEN LEARNING HOW TO PRACTICE LEGION IN A MORE CAREFUL AND GENTLE WAY?)
LEGION WITH OUT THE RE (IS LEGION WITHOUT THE REPETITION AND THE WISDOM?)
I AM CALLED LEGION FOR WE ARE MANY (ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, FOR INSTANCE)
BUT AA IS NOT RELIGIOUS. JUST LEGIOUS (EGREGIOUS).
JUDAISM + ZEN
BOTTOM OF THE WORLD MEETING WITH THE TOP OF THE WORLD AND CHRISTERS SOMEWHERE IN BETWEEN?
JEWISH ZEN
JEWISH ZEN ANONYMOUS
JAY-DEE-ISH
JO-DEE-ISH
IRISH JEW?
JEWISH + IRISH
I was hoping for genuine comments.
ISRAELI, JEWISH, IRISH (TOO MUCH PRIDE GETS IN THE WAY? SHOULD NEVER BE ASHAMED OF BEING PRIDEFUL?)
TURKISH, CHINESE, JAPANESE, ITALIAN
CAMBODIAN, INDONESIAN, INDIAN, NATIVE AMERICAN?, TRIBES OF ISRAEL?,
NORWEGIAN, DANSK, ARMENIAN, PHILLIPINO, AFRICAN, NIGERIAN, ALASKAN?,
ENGLISH (WASP)
SCOTTISH
GERMAN?
GERMAN SHEPARDS? (DO THEY JUST SEEM EVIL FROM THIS ANGLE BUT ARE NOT EVIL FROM THE TOP ANGLE?)
SWEDISH?
WE CANNOT BE PRIDEFUL WHEN WORKING THE STEPS BECAUSE THEY JUST WON’T WORK (WE CAN BE PRIDEFUL OUTSIDE OF WORKING THE STEPS?)
(IF I AM GOING TO DO THE 12 STEPS, THEY HAVE TO BE MY ENTIRE LIFE EXPERIENCE, NOT JUST SEPARATE. BECAUSE I ACCEPT THAT NOTHING IS SEPARATE. EVERYTHING IS CONNECTED BY THE INS, SOMEHOW. WE JUST DON’T KNOW HOW YET.)
I am so full of sorry. I thought this was my entry.
Please forgive me for the moment.
You are not alone