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As long as you’re happy

Posted by on 2018/10/11 under Life

I'm sorry I feel this way. I'm sorry that I its all in my head. I'm sorry I get jealous that you all do everything without me now. I'm sorry I dream of being something I can't. I'm sorry for always being so useless. I'm sorry I can't get anything right. I'm sorry I always feel tired of everything when you should have just been tired of me. Yes it was all my fault that I can't keep myself together. Yes it's my fault I feel like I wanna disappear. Yes its my fault that I'm different from you all. It was all me to begin with, no one elses. I'll take that blame off your shoulder. I'll take all of your pain. I'll help you stand. I'll not ask to take part of this friend group. I'll make myself look bad and take all the insults to make you love me just a little more. To make you look at me just a little bit more. Because if I'm a good friend, daughter, sister, it doesn't matter how I feel right. It doesn't matter that I'm crying by myself or secretly in front of all of you. It wont matter so you don't have to worry. I'll keep smiling. I'll keep hiding what it is I want. I'll keep sitting in my own bathtub of tear with my empty stare. As long as you don't notice it we'll all be happy. Right?

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