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Posted by on 2011/12/10 under Uncategorized

i dont understand why my family just cant accept me for who i am. I work extremely hard in school and I always do the right thing. I consider myself a good person with good values and morals, but i just cant ever seem to please them– my mom, my dad, and my older sister who is a year older than i am. I got my license a few months ago and I hit a car while backing out of a parking spot. my sister and i share a car, so now she is going nuts because i hit it. i made a few scratches ad its an expensive car but what did they expect? sorry that im not as good as a driver than my older sister. so what? im bound to make mistakes. im just a teenager. they always have high expectations for me. i bet that if my older sister hit a car they wouldnt be as mad. its always me who gets in the most trouble for the little things. and my fmily always gets into huge arguments. only my dad sticks up for me. my mom and my sister are always on the same ‘team’ and always attack me together. why cant they just talk to me like normal human beings? why do they always have to yell at me? my sister always talks down on me. its like im not even good enough to be called her sister. it seems as though in her eyes, i always mess everything up, and that im clueless and stupid. but im not. i feel like they just dont understand the way i think, instead they just tell me how wrong i am. but they never tell me what the right way is. like they expect me to do everything right but how am i supposed to know if ive never learned or experienced it. ive never hit a car before until that one time and it seems like the end of the world. i sometimes wish i could just take a break from all of this pressure to be perfect. they dont understand how much it hurts me. its like they dont even care how i feel. they just continue to yell and yell and attack me with words and just end up making me feel a piece of trash. like im worth nothing and have no value. and of course i fight back for myself, but for some reason in the end i always end up just sitting there and letting them continue to tell me things that i dont want to hear. because i feel like every word i say, the more they have to say back. and i go in my room afterwords and cry. cry like a little baby. and no, they dont come in and try to work things out. they leave it like that and leave me feeling like s***. i just dont know how to make them proud anymore. no matter what i do its never right. sometimes i just want to go away and do my own thing so nobody can tell me that i did something wrong.

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