Posted by Anonymous on 2014/02/11 under Uncategorized Why does life tend to throw these curve balls. Why do I feel the need, to be with her, when she makes my life miserable sometimes. I put up with so much and I feel selfish, but at the same time, I need to feel selfish. I have always looked after everyone else, rather than me, and I want to care about myself and what I want. This love, that I feel, is it really there, or is my mind playing a trick on me that makes me believe, that its something I have to do for myself, or for her. I f****** hate that I love her, but then I don’t. I react to her and everything she has been through. It puts me in a strain, my mind grasping at its own existence, looking for a way out. But my heart, keeps telling me “Don’t do it, don’t give in on her, you love her.” Its almost as my mind and my heart are having an all out war over whats best for me. Do I give in to my heart, or do I give in to my mind. Where I escape my reality, and continue to co-exist at the hope that it will get better, or continue on alone, and wonder what may be. Is there a connection, or am I crazy? Is there hope, or has it passed? I continue to ask myself this everyday, wondering, wishing that everything will be okay. But everyday, I tend to find myself question that very thought, wrapping my mind around what I want. Every part of my being wants to be that guy for her, to love and care about her, because I do, but then the other part of me tells me she is ruining my life, changing everything about it. Everything I ever loved, due to her being broken, has to be changed, or she spirals in to an never-ending depression. My life continues to spiral out of control, without a single attempt at stopping it. Am I mad? Or in Love?
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This is my post, Ill be re-posting it under my name. Sorry for the double.