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Posted by on 2014/01/22 under Uncategorized

im not sure what i want. I had a boyfriend in high school that i dated for 3 years and broke it off with him.i think i wanted something different or more. 6 months later while off to college we got back together. there was a lot of drama before that that should have made me never wana be with him again but i did. a year later i broke up with him again. i was always getting mad and i think i got bored or something. Shortly after i started dating the second guy i ever told that i loved. he was 11 years older than me but we got along well. he wasn’t some creepy dude that wanted a yougner gf. he really loved me. but very insecure. i was annoyed that he was his age and he still lived in the hometown we both grew up in because that was the last place i wanted to be (and he lived with roommates and hes 31) but most of all i got annoyed that whenever he drank he drank a lot. Im not a big partier so it annoyed me that he was still acting like he was 21. he was a really great boyfriend tho. i broke it off after a year. the first boyfriend has never stopped wanting to be with me. hes never stopped trying to get me back. and thinks he will love nobody else. i guess i beelieve him but i can’t trust him and im afraid. also im not sure if the physically relationship would be there. its been so long. the older ex also had a mini breakdown and wanted me back. im sure i shouldn’t be with him but i could see myself marrying him. but i could also see myself with my first ex because he knows me better than anyone and i have never felt the way i did about him with anyone else. Then recently i started dating a guy who was completely sober for 2 years because he had a past drug problem. i loved that about him that he was able to do things sober and be mentor to others. he was really busy all the time though with the sober community which i felt left me out some. i got mad at him a lot because he talked to his ex who he said there was nothing to worry about but i had trust issues from my first boyfriend. that relationship ended obivously because of me. im not sure if i wanted him back because he wasn’t like my past two exes who begged for me back or because i really liked him that much. probably both. so all that being said i dont know what to do. i feel almost as if i leave the men who want me the most because im bored and i want more. this is like the longest ive been single in a while. im usually right into another realtionship. i like it and i dont. i like having the option to be with anyone i want but i also miss having someone and have 2 men willing to do whatever it takes to be with me.
i put my guard up a lot in realtionship to where i get mad at small things and maybe leave before someone can hurt me.

3 thoughts on “long ass post that i just had to write

  1. Anonymous says:

    Just remember to listen to your heart and do what you feel is right when you decide what you want to do. You don’t owe these men anything, and if you want to move on, then move on for sure. There are lots of other really amazing men in the world. Just think about who really makes you happy inside and out and stay with them. I wish you luck .x

  2. illylilly01 says:

    i had the same situation happen to me… like EXACTLY the same soooo my ex is still in love with me but has a new girlfriend but he still pretty clingy wen we meet up and my resent ex … were just friends but we argue alot… so im single now and its been a couple months and at the same time i like it but i dont… but im getting use to the fact that im single now.. more freedom and when you go out you dont have to worry about boyfriends and you can talk to any guy up in da club lol… so now im just waiting for a new guy to come.. one that will make me happier then the other ex’s and one you know u can trust .. im in no rush for a new boo thang, so u should be 🙂

  3. Anonymous says:

    Wow, I had the same story but my happily ever after did not go well I saw my boo kissing another girl.

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