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Posted by on 2013/05/12 under Uncategorized

Our two year anniversary is next month. Boy, did I ever f*** up. It’s so painful to admit that. I haven’t told anyone. The truth is, as I’ve come to realize after two years of marriage with this wonderful, kind, and beautiful woman, that we are just not very good for each other.

I’m a conservative Christian, so I saved sex for marriage. However, I have always been very promiscuous and had ridiculous sex drive. I married this girl because I was 25 and was ready to have sex, and in my world view the only way to do that without compromising myself was to get married. So, I did that. I found a girl who was a real 10/10. Gorgeous, book-smart, hard-working, very physically fit, caring, and from a great family.

But you know what? We just don’t get along. She’s very ditzy and forgets the little stuff all the time. It’s hard for her to learn to do new things. I’m detail-oriented and learn quickly and am always getting into new hobbies. She likes talking; I like reading. She does yoga, I do cardio and weight training. She believes in following where God leads; I believe in seeking out what God wants for one’s life and making it happen. She is an early-riser; I hate getting out of bed before the sun is shining.

We aren’t very compatible. And as a result, we have spent all of our energy these last two years just trying to get along. We have been dragging each other down and neither of us is reaching our potential as people. Before we got married, we were each such natural leaders, and we really drew people into our lives and helped lots of people. Now, it is as though our lights have been snuffed out.

What can I do? Learn to live with it; I don’t believe in divorce. But I realize now that I should have just gotten my jollies out with the many girls I fooled around with, so that I could see Emily for who she was when we were dating. If I had not overlooked our incompatibilities and allowed us to go our separate ways, we would each be in a much better place. damn. asdf.

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