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Posted by on 2020/06/30 under Family

Wednesday, June 17, 2020
18:51

My guardians called today and demanded I and my siblings sit together for "family talk".
Yeah, obviously, this is going bad already.
After I told them I won't be able to get a job this summer due to immigration laws restricting my study visa (as I have been kicked out of YorkU for poor academics), they complained I was making flimsy excuses and complained about how I "refused" to get a part-time job during the last Fall/Winter session.
Obviously, I didn't refuse. I simply didn't find a job I qualified for. I'm also not refusing to work. The opposite. I WANT to work because I want to earn my own income and have a little independence (Like I enjoyed during the 2018 Summer session). Also they are the ones who prevented me from working during the 2019 Summer. They literally forced me back to Nigeria for summer holiday that time (Ended up being a terrible holiday. Thanks).

Asked about Seneca admissions and other things. Then went on to chat with my sisters while complaining about me "not freeing myself" and talking freely "even near my sisters" (Irony is I am less comfortable near my sisters and I don't want to be that useless "family talk" that does nothing other than make me feel worse and more hopeless).

Then they went on to start their religious talk after Amarachi asked question (another reason why Is shouldn't be in their talk. It's irrelevant, unhelpful and psychologically stressful). Then they instructed me to pray (knowing fully well I don't practice their religion. After they claimed they won't force me to their belief. Annoying how religious people can't accept other people's difference or in some cases they pretend to).
During the "talk" they mixed up/misunderstand Chimdinma's fear of other people with my uneasiness and difficulty expressing myself to others. Further showing they're useless for any psychological support. They went on to talk about how I will never grow/succeed because I'm not reading praying/reading the bible.
They threatened that if they can't hear me properly during the prayer they forced me to say, they'll not pay my fees to continue in school even if they could afford it. I simply resolved that I don't care. I have thought about eliminating myself anyway if that becomes the case and these useless talks only make that option appear better to me.

By the way, I am not sending the YorkU petition letter to my parents because of the things I mention in there which I don't want them to see and as I said earlier, they're horrible psychological/emotional support persons and they believe I need more prayers. If, my petition gets rejected like I expect, I know they conclude it's because I didn't send the letter. Meanwhile, a good doctor's note or psychologist would have helped make my case alone.
–Tournel H

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