I am so f***ing lonely. I am alone without adult interaction most of the time. I need to get myself out of this situation and state and repetitive day to day living. I want a f***ing job, but one I enjoy. I need a life. I hate the fear of not knowing if I can pay rent each month or put food on the table. I hate money, but its f***ing necessary to have. This pandemic along with the government has screwed so many people including me. Did I die and now I'm in some limbo, the good life seems so unreachable.
I am running in place. I feel like my oldest son's hamster, stuck in a f***ed up wheel. The bulls*** just keeps on piling on and it's too much to handle. That and I feel alone, alone with my thoughts and throughout most of the day.