I thought I was free. I'm never free. I haven't tasted freedom in the longest time, not even when I was still a child.
I thought the pain would go now that it had no reason to stay, but it wouldn't go. Even in my happiest moments.
Everything seemed to be going well, things looking up and the glorious tinge of positivity seeped into my blackened heart after a decade of hurt.
'With every bad there is good' they would say, but did they ever once think to look at the other side of the coin?
I fought, like always, fought so hard with only a stick as my weapon against this invincible beast. It reared it's ugly head after a week of slumber, it's energy restored. I was swatted like a mere fly, but I knew it wouldn't end there.
The pain, suffering, agony. I thought it gone for it only to come surging back like a freak electrical storm. I took her hand, my only refuge, I knew the dangers and yet I continued on.
A beast. A storm. A nemesis.
I should be happy, some of the best things have happened to me, why aren't I happy? I want to be happy. Please.
I can't take another relapse.
-TG
You’ve been focusing too much on the “hurt” stuff, Maybe I’m not allowed to say this because i really don’t know what you’re going through its just that you said “some best things” happened to you, so why not focus on that? You want to be happy? The decision is yours dude. Some people don’t even have even moments to celebrate.