Posted by Anonymous on 2017/10/07 under Life i remember when i was a child, id' make people laugh and then i'd be happy about it. i'd wonder how i would become as i grew up, someone admirable, someone liked, someone who was nice and kind, a person to be trusted to be gone to when in need. then things happen in life. it little thing, u know, unseemingly, and it cuts like off the breath for themoment, like a moment that turns suddenly every perspective into a cutthroat scenery of am i losing myself in this what seems like eternity. the childhood is forgotten, or suddenly or maybe because it's so simple for a wish, that when the darkness settles, it's so simple for a wish.
no matter the optimism, one can blame everything that once was there cradling him. the misconception that everything was carrying him. and now once, his perception moves on to how he was also moving, cradling, and carrying his environment, a shift occurs.
though it's not over yet, these two seemingly polar opposites conjunt as in time, with due given friction, come close and closer and closest.
and a battle begins. of these two forces.
he is now faced with making a grave choice.
the light… or the darkness… the lights.. the innocense, beauty, psosibility, or the darnkess, the only friend when all else fell apart.
should he choose though? to pretend that nothing bad ever happened or
to keep painting pictures on broken down walls of his abandoned inner palace
i …. tend to my … garden.
heard and read from a someone long gone dead, that once he discovered his inner garden, he was faced wht two choices, either tend to it and make it pretty or let it grow wild and get lost in its pricks.
interesting analogy when you think about it. i began to love my pain and the sufering although it was the source of why i was acting out and doing al the things i did, it brought some very good things in my life. had i lost a lot? sure… but who's looking when you can asee and count your blessings instead.
though, this is not for the faint hearted, beacuse the world is vast, it will continue to challenge and remind you of your own pain.
i remember, i feell, and each time i wonder if this is the last time i am healed. but it never ends.
thoughi can utilisie it to bond with myself and those close to me.
my pain also gives me a uniqyue perspective. i can see things most others can't. i try to use it for healing, myself first and then anyone who can associate or thake what they can froom it.