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Posted by on 2012/10/07 under Uncategorized

Tonight I might cut for the second time, there’s no scars from my first time..I’m going to be 12 on the 24th…Last time I cut I actually posted here.

I’m not sad…or mad…I just feel something deep down inside of me aching to get out. I just feel like it’s the boy i’m..in LOVE with. Now, understand that I’m Pre-matured, I look around 14, and I act around 14, too. I CAN be in love.

Being Molested twice really takes an impact.

I don’t know what to do. I really want some one to talk too. Nobody to convince me ‘I’m worth it,’ ‘I’m beautiful’ or anything…because how would you know? You don’t know me. I just need someone not to assume or judge…but to actually understand…why is that so hard for people?

I kind of want to go back to counselling like I did after my dad went to jail for molesting me…but i don’t want all the people in my school to think I’m a freak.

I don’t really have problems at school, BTW, I just have personal problems.

Please someone, talk to me . 🙁

3 thoughts on “Tonight

  1. Anonymous says:

    Girl I am so sorry. Life can be rough but hey that’s life it’s not going to be perfect and I’m telling you that for a fact. You should never harm yourself over something so small (I’m 14 I’ve hurt myself before over a guy and my family but I’m staying strong now) I know getting over a guy that you really had feelings for is hard but you will get through it. You are strong enough<3 and you will get through it. email me if you ever need anything or just need someone to talk to <a href="mailto:crazychickz25@yahoo.com" >crazychickz25@yahoo.com (yes I know its a stupid name but its just a random thing haha)

  2. Ganawyr says:

    Raiha,
    Everyone can love. Age is no barrier for that. Just remember that love is not everything.
    I’d say don’t cut – but you probably won’t listen to me. I can only ask you not to because I don’t like it. If you want to let the demons out – find something constructive to do. Go running. Take gymnastics, boxing, jui jitsu, do weight training, find a way to express it.
    I speak to you because I am currently in counseling – there is nothing wrong with it. EVERYONE has problems, and those who judge you because of the actions you take just want to make themselves feel better about their own insecurities. Don’t take your opinions of yourself from them – they’re stupid. Find a reason to believe in yourself from YOU and no one else. You’re right – you are the only person who knows who you are. Believe in that, if nothing else.

  3. ^__^ says:

    sweetie ur 12, u shudnt be thinking about all those things. I understand and I know it must feel bad being sexually harassed at your age but u gotta be strong. You can love that aint wrong but not a boy is worth u hurting urself. These are the best years of ur life so enjoy them, right now id do anything to go back to when i was 12 cz that was when i wasnt judged for anything I do. And if counseling akes u feel good then go for it, dont worry about the ppl in ur school its only a matter of timeand ull realize how very judgmental and stupid school kids could be and but by then it wud be too late n it wud hav already taken years from ur life. u seem like a strong girl, u can handle it.

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