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Posted by on 2012/07/13 under Uncategorized

These past two weeks have been the hardest on me. First was the abortion, which tore me apart emotionally, then there was the prescription pills that dropped my serotonin, which left me in able to be happy. Then my tires popped, i ran out of money, and my boyfriend is saying all the things that I’m feeling bad about all at once. I’m working to live with no money coming in, my boyfriend not looking for a job, and best of all, we have to move in a month. I’m reaching my breaking point and all i want to do is throw everything on the ground and scream at the top of my lungs. I want to get in my car and just drive, go until I can’t anymore. I want to start cutting again, feeling the physical pain lift me away from the emotional so I can start feeling normal again.

I’m just tired, so tired of lifting up from the ground and telling myself that it’s just a little longer. I’m tired of people leaving me always eventually alone to deal with myself. I’m tired of lifting people out of the darkness and for them to drop me back in.

I’m just…. so tired and don’t know how long i can do it anymore…

2 thoughts on “So much at once

  1. Anonymous says:

    I know things are hard for you but its all going to get better eventually. You just need to stay strong and realize that life was never meant to be easy for anyone. ALso put your foot down and tell your bf to get a job and help out with everything because times are tough. Your life will get better you just need to stay strong and keep your head up. Trust me, things will work out for you!

  2. Satellite says:

    I may not know what it felt like being in your situation… but there is just a thing that I am going to comment… Life is naturally unfair, deal with it. Don’t cut yourself because it will not help. Well at least, go to a secluded place where no one can see or hear you then shout from the top of your lungs but no ‘cutting yourself’ please.

    Even though I do not know you personally, I still know that you can do it! cheer up! cheer up!

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