Love Work Family Friends Games Kids Life

Posted by on 2012/06/28 under Uncategorized

I feel so frustrated. Our friendship is so complex, and contains so many different emotions. Because that’s all we technically are. Friends. But oh, we were so close to being more. After that one night where we got to pretend that we were together, we talked more than we ever had before. You actually had the confidence to obviously flirt, and we were closer than ever. A relationship seemed inevitable. It’s been on the horizon for years, people have been predicting this for ages. I get questions every day about you. But it’s been two months now, and although I tried to ask you questions about ‘us’, you said you wanted to talk in person – which is fair enough, apart from the fact that you’re very picky about where you talk about private things, and the opportunity hasn’t arisen. Eight weeks is a long time. And in that time, I have felt us get closer and closer, and then slowly but surely go back to where we stood before, as best friends but nothing else. I get the feeling that you’ve given up on your half-hopes of being in a relationship with me, and therefore I’m giving up too.

But it hurts so much, to have you so close and yet to not be able to tell you how I feel. I have loved you for years, and at one point or another, I’m fairly sure that you have loved me too. Why won’t life let us be together?! Coincidence is never in our favour. We never have the chance to spend time with each other through social events, meaning that if we were to meet up, it would have to be arranged deliberately, and neither you nor I have the confidence to suggest that, because it would be like arranging a date. And that’s outside the comfort zone. So what chance is there, really? Sigh.

But I don’t know what to do if I don’t like you. There are other boys I find attractive; of course there are. And there are other guys who will flirt with me and with whom I can flirt. But in my heart, I don’t want a relationship with them, never mind the fact that the chances of ever being in a relationship with any of them are extraordinarily thin! I love you. Since we first started talking, I always have.

Nobody else understands me like you do. Nobody. So please. I can’t stand many more of the questions or banter about me and you, because they just make me melancholy if our chances are not looking hopeful, unless something changes.

Please Nat. Please.

One thought on “Us.

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