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Posted by on 2012/05/12 under Uncategorized

SO 2012 has been the worst year of my life. So many things have happened that I don’t even know where to start. I’m going to be 26 next month, and I feel like I should be feeling young and happy about life. Not the case. I’ve been with my boyfriend since I was 16 and lived with him for the past nine years. Lat month I made a life changing decision to end our relationship. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I’m moving out in two weeks. and about to start life on my own for the first time ever. I didn’t feel in love with him anymore and was resenting the fact that I depended on him for the past 10 years of my life. Not to mention he has a major drinking problem. It just wasn’t working any more but I’m still very upset and sad it’s ending after all this time. I’m terrified to be alone. Anyways on top of that, last week I got my test results back telling me I am positive for the brca1 gene. Also known as the breast cancer gene. I have a 50-85% chance of developing breast cancer in my lifetime. Typically younger in life. One in one thousand women have this gene and I’m one of them. I feel doomed. I can either go to the doctors 4-5 times a year to make sure I don’t have cancer. Or have my breasts removed. I can’t believe this is happening to me. I was so upset last weekend when I found out that I decided to go have a few drinks with friends to relax and have a little fun. Worst idea ever, I was pulled over on the way home and arrested for a dui. I spent the night in jail and cried for two days straight. I now have meetings community service and bus rides to look forward to. I need my car more then ever right now, to be getting to work and my doctor appointments and I made a horrible costly mistake. About a 4,000 dollar mistake when it’s all said and done. And that’s not even mentioning my cat died last month, my mom had major surgery, I found out I’m anemic, and I have been sick with a horrible cold ever since I went to jail that night. So that’s my life in a nutshell. I don’t know how i’m supposed to deal with all this but I guess I’m going to have to right? Somehow, please if you read this wish me luck, send good vibes, pray, whatever it is I need all the help I can get right now…

2 thoughts on “12-05-12(9:43:51)

  1. Shane says:

    Life is a labyrinth hope you make it through without getting stuck in the maze.

  2. Anonymous says:

    Everything will be alright. I will pray for you. Life is tough sometimes, but what does not kill you only makes you stronger. I also had some very tough time in my life, nobody to help me, dealt with it alone. Now I don’t care about those ppl who did not help. Would not look back to them.
    Hope you have a happy life.

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