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Posted by on 2012/03/29 under Uncategorized

i feel depressed even when my life is going good, and i dont understand why. Ive been this way since i was about the age of 10. i’ve had a lot of suicidal thought since i was 10 and whats dangerous and i know is that ive even wrote out ways that i can kill myself if i feel like im done here some times i feel so hopeless i want to give up but i always think about what in my life i love and it keeps me from going through with it. I have had some tragic things happening growing up. I was raped when i was 5, but i’ve started to overcome that and ive became stronger it still hurts some times i get mad some times about it but, ive started to heal and i believe that even though it hurt when it happened it makes me the strong woman i am today,but this isnt the only thing i struggle with a lot of the time i actaully dont struggle with it very often as i use to. i also struggle a lot with my body image i always feel like im fat ,but ive been told im not but, i can never seem to be happy with my weight and ive stopped eating for a long time and even when i eat ive been throwing it up and i think its gotten out of control and i dont know how to tell any one about it, and i dont want to stop even though i need to stop its really hard to quit doing it ,and its became a obsession for me with how i look. im also worried because ive gotten so depressed that ive been cutting myself for almost a year now, every time i feel angry, or hurt. For some reason every time my life is good and everything is going great im still really depressed and its hard for me to get out of it. some times i can but, its for a short amount of time and i will go back down hill again. I get angry easily over tiny things also, things that are very little can set me off and some times i say things that i realize later i shouldnt of said and i feel really bad. There are times when im happy and i will act all happy and be really hiper but it doesnt last very long. i cry all the time easily. sometimes its because some thing happened ,but other times its just because im depressed and sad and i wont even know why some times i want to understand why im the way i am. If theres any one who can give me advice i would be greatful.

3 thoughts on “29-03-12(6:35:38)

  1. Anonymous says:

    Just…. stop. With all the self hate, and the suicidal thoughts, and the worries. Because no one should have to go through these kinds of things. I want you to let these feelings out into a diary a journal. Or talk to someone you trust. You are the way you are because that’s how God wanted you to be. Special. Don’t f***ing listen to what society has to say about beauty or weight because they know s***. You are beautiful too. And you deserve the best life too.

  2. ash says:

    god made us all he made us with perfection god dosent want to harm the body he gave us . you are beautiful just try to realize that and god is the only god u should worship no other no saints or any other of any kind. okay the reason why u feel depresed and sad is cause u need jesus in your life look when you feel like this pray tell jesus every thing even if it takes you hours to tell him every thing you are goin through. he know how to help you just look for him. right now try to find him trust me his is how u r gona get out of this im in a christian church u should try to go to church to and you could ask them to pray for you but leave all the evil thing you used to do the past do find help any where eles but only with jesus okay dont give up and try to pray.

  3. ash says:

    dont find help any where eles but only with jesus okay dont give up and try to pray

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