Posted by Anonymous on 2012/03/02 under Uncategorized My beliefs are the most freeing and the most caging things in my life. When I was a kid, I could point to someone else and say, I am this way because they told me to be this way. I can’t do that anymore. I have to point to the bible and say, I am this way because God told me this was the way I had to be. — And it’s powerful, but right now, it hurts like crazy. I miss you so badly, I miss your green eyes and how it felt to laugh and hold you and feel you breathe and know nothing was between us but love. Until God broke us up. You don’t believe in God. You don’t understand why I do. In fact, I think you may hate me for destroying what we had… and truth is, I don’t blame you. I hate me for destroying what we had. And I miss you so desperately, I’d give anything to have you pull me aside and surprise me with kisses again. — But I have to walk with a man who serves God. I understand why. But no matter what, I have a feeling I will always look at that man and in some corner of my dark heart, I will be slightly bitter and a little sad that it wasn’t you holding my hand. Because I love you. Even if God tells me I shouldn’t marry an unbeliever, I wish it were you I was walking toward. I miss my Jersey.