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Posted by on 2012/01/29 under Uncategorized

Okay so if your here for a fairytale story, you are not going to find it here. I am a 16 years old teenage boy and live in a small city in wakefield in the uk. I have one brother who is 2 years younger than me. I have just started my first year at college. When I was 8, I first experienced how harsh and violent my life was going to be. My mum was ironing whilst having a small argument with my dad that day and bearing in mind I was only 8, I didn’t know much of what violence was, I was playing near my mum with some legos and was trying to get my mums attention, after a while I think I annoyed my mum, and out of her anger, she picked up the iron she was ironing with, and put it to my mouth, burning my lips. Only 3 weeks after that, I was able to speak without slurring or it hurting me. When I was 10 years old my dad got angry because I played with my toy car, and punched me in the nose, breaking it. I never went to the doctors to get it fixed and I still cant breath properly out of one side of my nose. When I was 11 years old my dad got angry at me because I couldn’t sleep because I was was uncomfortable, so he got a bit of wood and hit me with it till I didnt dare move and told me if I moved again he would hit me more. On my 13th birthday my mum couldnt take no more so she overdosed on some pills attempting to kill herself, she told me that she had left £1,200 in the bank for me and my brother and told us to run away. 4 days after my 13th birthday, she left the hospital and came home with us, telling us that she had overdosed accidentally and didnt mean what she said. My dad has hit me every time he has been angry at me, and it came to the point where I wanted him to hit me as many times as possible just to get it over and done with. Whenever he hit me I just thought of being in a happy place, where everyone smiled and laughed all the time, I never had a memory that was happy and where everyone was cheerful. There are soo much more stuff that has happened but I just cant be bothered to write it all cos it upsets me, but basically I havnt really been happy for a long time. If you are reading this you probably I am some emo that self harms himself, but I am far from it. I try to dress so that I fit in, copying what everyone else wears so I dont stand out, even though we are poor so I have to steal clothes or I find what I can to wear to fit in by selling some of my mums stuff so I can buy some decent clothes. I am now in college and failing every subject, I want to be a physiotherapist so that I can get some money and so that my mum might be proud of me. Because I feel constantly s***, I recently started smoking, but my dad found out and guess what? More beatings, I counted all my bruises and found that I got 7 all together. I am now half way through college and I am still failing every subject, I just hope that my mum or dad dont find out. I have also started weed. Yes I know its bad for you whatever, but Ive only smoked it once and found that it makes me forget anything and makes my body feel numb to all emotions, so I dont feel pain. I think im going to try it again, cos it blocks out everything. Oh yeah and another thing, im never aloud to go out. That means I cant go out to meet my mates, talk to anyone, even at day time, and never have. My mum and dad dont let me go out cos they say “you don’t need them” and just tell me that if I go they will not let me back in the house. and if you think im exaggerating last time I had a really good time was summer 2009 for 2 days, I went to wales with one of my mates dad, and 3 of my college mates. We walked around the city and looked around a castle and rode on bikes, it was honestly the best time of my life. My college friends are always asking for me to come to parties, I have been invited to 7 this year, I have gone to none. I have never been to a single party in my life, and I darn’t sneak out cos my dad checks my room everyday. I have thought about running away but where would I stay, I bet my friends would let me stay for a night if I begged them but where would I get money? I also thought about killing myself, just to get away from the constant s*** life I have. I dont expect anyone to read this but I had to get it all out, and I feel so much better now that I have said it all, If you are reading this, I thank you for reading about my life and how fun and happy it is 🙂

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