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Posted by on 2012/01/08 under Uncategorized

It was 8th grade. I was the new student and he was the annoying boy that everyone liked in some way but didn’t admit. I was shy & still stuck on these 2 boys from my church and old school. He was shy as well. I would be with this one girl, now my best friend, and he would come out of nowhere and start flirting with anyone near me. My friend would be like “What the heck? Go away” and I would just laugh. There was this one time he was asking for people’s numbers when I was near him. I pretended to not care and walked past but I saw him look. He asked for my friends number hoping that she would give him my # as well. She gave him her number and walked to me and once I wasn’t near him anymore, he said “Nevermind. I’ll get all your guys’ numbers another time” When I told the people from my old school, they would be like “I bet you’re gonna end up going out w/ him!” They were right .. they just forget to tell me the part where he would also break my heart. Anyways, then he started flirting w/ me straightup. He asked my friend for my number again but she didn’t give it to him. So while my friend was away one time, he asked me for it in a note. I gave it to him and he named me after a boy in his phone plus gave me back the note cuz he didn’t wanna be caught. He was that innocent. His parents didn’t even know he asked girls out yet .. let alone talk to them on the phone. Haha, both of us were so innocent back then .. I left early that day and on my way out, he said bye. I liked the attention he gave me. He started texting me that very night. We texted and I had to go cuz I didn’t have unlimited. But he would continue texting. I only break the rules for special people. He was so new to me yet I broke them for him. My mistake. We would watch this one movie in English and he would ask this one big girl & my friend to move so I can sit by him. They would complain but they knew he liked me so they would move anyways. Everyone was asking me “Oh, you know he likes you?” & I would just be like “Haha, nooo” Sooner or later, he gave me the very first hug. He acted all cool & like it was no big deal but it was. To both of us. We texted hecka. Flirted even more. Then we started talking on the phone. We played the ‘who do you like’ game. I told him my usual reply when guys would ask me – Oh, this one guy but I’m not sure. He told me “well I like you”. He had a girlfriend but he told me he would break up w/ her for me cuz he didn’t even like her. I told him not to. He insisted. So one night, he texted me and said he broke up w/ her. He told me to go on his MS and delete her hack and stuff. I saw her and she was this one pretty popular girl I knew. I was like “daaang”. But anyways, we were talking on the phone late one night when he popped the question in a text. I messed w/ him a little and texted “ask me tmrw cuz i’m tired” and he txted “but what do you think the answer will be?” and I texted him “yes” and he was all happy. SO we hung up. And he called again. We flirted some more. Next day, I told my friend to tell him “Yes”. Another mistake. He texted me in math class. We flirted and I sent him our date. 092409. Exactly a month after I started going to the school. I turned around & looked at him. We both smiled. It was also the day that I had to go the overhead and write something. I was still the new girl so people were nice and cheered me on. He was the loudest. That day was the day before break. Afterschool, me and him were sitting on a bench and talking when he had to leave. So we both stood up and we hugged and told me he’d text me. I was happy. Glad that I had a distraction from the 2 other guys. I knew we weren’t going to be the perfect couple but I also didn’t know we would end up the way we did. Anyways, we were good for a while. He told me he loved me during the break and I said it a while after. Another mistake but could you really blame me? He was my first serious bf. I wanted to keep us kind of a secret from people at school cuz I don’t like my business in the streets. They eventually found out tho cuz he thought I was ashamed of him so when this girl texted him and asked, he said straightup. We got in a few fights and he started having the ability to make me cry. I realized that I still liked the guy from my old school more than him. Eventually, he game me my very first kiss on the cheek. My English teacher asked if we were going out one time but I denied it. He was waiting outside the door for me when my teacher asked but hid. We were on cloud 9 with a few storm clouds. 2 months after, someone told me he was cheating and that tore me apart. I got my very first detention the next day. I told my friend to tell him that we were over. He walked up to me and said “Good. At least now, I only have one girl”. I walked away from him. He saw me crying and asked this one girl that sat by him that I called my “mother” to write me a note. She wrote that she hoped I was aight and that he was sorry and that even he was crying cuz he saw he hurt me so bad. I threw the note away and asked to go to the bathroom to cry. A girl in the bathroom saw me crying and comforted me. & at home, I cried and cried even more. He texted me just to make me feel even worse. I faked a migraine the next day cuz I didn’t wanna be near him. I went to the nurses’ office and he asked to go to the bathroom. When I was on my way back to get my stuff, he was coming back from the bathroom. He pulled me back and said “Hey, i’m sorry” I showed him what I had done to my wrist. I used a rubberband to show not even half the pain I felt. He looked and I saw tears. Idk if they were his or if they were mine. I pushed myself away from him and kept walking. He said “I’m sorry. Really. Forgive me, please” I just looked at him and kept walking. I saw pain in his eyes. When I was on my way out again, he was coming in. He made it seem like we didn’t meet in the hallway. He texted but I ignored all of them. Better days came, or so I thought, when he told me he would never do it again. So we went out again .. BUT HE WAS STILL W/ HER. I found out by myself that time during Thanksgiving break. & it was the same anger all over again. Silly me ~ I went out w/ him another time and found out during my Winter break. He ruined all of 8th grade’s breaks for me -_- Anyways, I was a mess. People were saying all this stuff about me cuz of my decisions. I didn’t know what to do w/ myself. I started doing more worse stuff to myself. You know what they say – you want something more when you know it’s bad for you. I guess that’s what happened. We went through s00ooOO more shizz along the way. My dad found out about him and I got in so much trouble. We talked about going out again more than once, never happened tho cuz my expectations were too high. We had a Summer fling. thing He cheated w/ me while w/ another girl. I cheated w/ him while I was w/ another guy. The girl he cheated on me for started going back to our school. I went through a living Hell emotionally. LOOOOONNGGG story, short. I’m in 10 grade now. I’m still young, I know. But it’s one of those nights where I miss him. Thanks to him, I hate romantic things now. I have scars. I’m so insecure. I hate myself. He made me think that I’m not good enough. That I will never be good enough. But you know the saddest part? I still miss him.

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