Posted by Mindy1718 on 2015/05/01 under Uncategorized What the hell am I suppose to do? I f***in do what people tell me what to do but yet I don’t. I hate college but yet I don’t… F***in and s*** man! I’m so confused that it gives me headaches when I think. so many stressful things are coming up and it’s getting harder and harder to be an adult… I’m 19 for crying out loud! I’m not even 20 and I’m doing twice more than what my friends had ever done! They don’t realize how much more easier they have it compared to me. Comparing yourself to others is ridiculous because it just makes things worse right!? It’s not their fault, my own head does things that angers myself. Thinking of unnecessary things to provoke myself of negative thoughts. I may sound dramatic… My apologies. Having to think that at that one moment when you were feeling like you were a step or two ahead of life when it sends you back to where you were before f***in sucks major balls man. The world seems cruel but yet it gives hope and then it has a continuation of the same things happening. “Trick or Treat!” Halloween has ended and only comes once a year but it seems as though this applies in life. Life could really treat you to great fortune but yet it can trick you into a bad side that could open to a bad life. I hate the things that happen in this world but yet I love some of the things that happen in this world also. Many wish for world peace but we are far from it yet close. We are one thing but yet another. People can say that they have it all figured out but do they really? Life throws you so much crap but you have to take it all in. It’s too damn hard at times but sometimes it pays off… Not wanting to repeat the family mistakes because there are so much… Wanting to do things on your own is hard but yet it’s a good feeling of freedom. Somehow that freedom needs to be shared with other people not just yourself because it gets lonely. A person can only do so much by themselves. It hurts so much lately. Everywhere in my body. I’m f***in tired of being tired… I’m tired of living life like this. Better! Wanting life better isn’t so bad right? Sounding selfish isn’t what I want but this is my request. A different life that makes me happy. No motivation do much. Where do I start? To many question that are already answered but yet not answered. A messed up world with a messed up girl. It hurts so see that one person not along side me too… Stealing my heart but I don’t want it back because he was the one for me. I don’t want anyone else… I sound idiotic don’t I? I want someone to change me or help me change. Leaving this place for a new start, a new beginning of something that would make life more exciting! This new life is what I want to obtain no matter what without the things that hold me up. Myself and the stressful things that haunt me constantly. This pain needs to go.