Posted by Mindy1718 on 2015/01/08 under Uncategorized So just now I found out that life wants me to wait peacefully but I don’t want to… The outside world is just making up reasons to why I don’t want to go. Why go when all your friends aren’t there or when no one is there to have fun? The feeling of loneliness has come across my way once again. No one likes that feeling! There might be some times where you want it but it isn’t what I desire at this moment. Being with my mom doesn’t count because no way in hell do I want her company! Finding yourself talking to strangers online is one thing that keeps the loneliness out of my mind. But talking isn’t the only thing. I do things in a way that leaves me feeling empty often. Not going outside but staying indoors because there is a feeling of knowing whether or not that something is going to be right or wrong. The feeling of being scared of what’s going to happen or not. Don’t you ever feel like that? My self confidence has gone down again but it usually goes back up when someone compliments me. Words of Affirmation is my love language but I don’t get it as often as I want… Feeling selfish just for words that could cheer me up but I never ask for them… Staying silent about my real feelings is what I do. I’ve done it for so long but I’ve changed already, right? I don’t know anymore… Confusing myself once again and losing all my pieces to my puzzle. Changing myself just to be with people or just to change a little of who I am to be liked. Confusing one’s personality could lead to that one question that’s always hated, “Who am I?” I know who this person is so why question it over and over again? Such a stupid girl knows better but she still makes mistakes because she wants to experience it. “Try new things!” What a stupid suggestion to ruin your life even more! But in a way she learns because that one mistake always ends up to be never done again. What a silly way to learn from an experience. Makes me laugh that I do this. Stupid or not I want to experience new things until this puzzle is finished. So many pieces are empty and finishing it won’t make it better will it? Who knows for sure?