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Posted by on 2014/03/12 under Uncategorized

My parents often piss me off because it seems as they want to come crawling back to my life when they weren’t here for the other years. I could say that I hate them but I can’t… I used to hold grudges because they kept me aware of my surroundings, I thought that they would save me but they ended up eating my insides up. I saw my parents leave each other at age 8 and things got heavy for me at that age and until now. I grew a lot from my life and I know I’m not that good with school and the fact that life as we know it isn’t over gets me confused. We can do what we want in this world and we suffer the consequences if we are caught and if we are caught, we can either let it slide or pay for what we’ve done or what someone else had done. We are guilty and innocent. We are in pain but we are healing. We say I love you and we say I hate you. Our world is confusing but we are learning so much. We may be a fool when we’re young or we could be smart. We can die but more lives are coming. Once you’ve a life, you know what wrongs have gone through your way. It’s not irregular for me not to miss my parents becuase they were never really there. I lived with my sister and she raised me with her own children. I could have sworn I wasn’t all that happy because there was always an empty puzzle piece to my life or it was more like twenty. Didn’t like the fact that my parents are on diablility and want to fix things up. They seem like strangers sometimes. I’m 18 and I’m leaving them soon. I don’t wish to be with my crazy mother who had kicked my sisters out of the house at a young age and had almost thrown me out as well for smoking at a legal age. She thinks that’s bad but I’ve done things she would have never thought of me doing, in fact a lot of people. “Your a good girl!” Everyone says without knowing crap about me. People assume things as if they would know. Hiding is one of my specialties and so is lying. I’ve learned how to do this well over the years of having to be forced to lie to those who don’t deserve it. Moving was also a problem for me because I did move often. I didn’t have friends for long because they would disapper so quick. I’ve come to high school that I never wanted to come to in the first place and I found friends that seem like good friends. It’s a boarding school that has messed up rules but I’ve grown to being a scared freshman that hid from everyone to being someone that actually likes to hang out with people. I’m glad I was away from my parents but not my family… I will always know that I can’t really accept the fact of my parents not giving me the time that I’ve always wanted. Seems childish but it’s what I feel. I know it’s not right either but what can i do???

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