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Posted by on 2013/05/02 under Uncategorized

Since I was little there has been things that have happened in my life that I would have to deal with everyday for the rest of my life. I was handling my big dark secret really well. School life was hard I mean I was so scared to go to school because there was so many threats against me. I never did anything to deserve that appart from be overweight and clever. Things got better when I started home schooling. Then when I started college, I met a guy online who had the same big dark secret as me he was my everything, we got engaged and were what I thought was happy. A few months after getting engaged, I had a gut feeling he was cheating on me. I ended it and instantly regretted it as I have felt alone ever since. The same day I found out I was pregnant, I went to the doctors a few days later due to stomach pains. I got told to take another test which came back negative. I’d lost the guy of my dreams and turned out due to lot’s of things I had lost my baby to. I get it was stupid cause I was so young but yet any relationship i’ve been in after just hasn’t felt right. I just miss him and have no idea how to cope. Even though we weren’t together I ran away to his when my granny died cause I didn’t know how to cope without him. I just need him but he seems happy and moved on and that kills me even more. I know I’m not pretty or worth anything so I’ve kind of accepted I’ll be alone for awhile, until I meet someone who doesn’t think looks matter, but I don’t want anyone else. Before anyone says I was and stupid yes all of this happened from the ages of 16-18 but I’ve grown up and it’s been 3 nearly 4 years since we split. I still get butterfies when I’m going to see him and still have the need to talk to him everyday.

2 thoughts on “I just don’t know how much more I can take.

  1. Anonymous says:

    If he really loved you he’d still be there.

  2. Anonymous says:

    I know that your heart is set on him, but like the person above said, he would be there for you if he loved you. In this case, realize that there is someone better out there for you. Love is all about trust and balance on each side. Good luck and I am sorry about your past. I hope you are able to move on and have a good life .xx

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