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Posted by on 2011/08/11 under Uncategorized

I feel like im putting too much thought into this.. i wont read what you put until im done because i dont want it to change what im writing. i still remember, freshman year, around november i think. i told you how you could have anyone you wanted. and you told me “well when you said that, all i wanted was you” and my heart melted. you were..you. and thats all III wanted. and now, forever later. here i am, still upset at you, for hurting me. the way some douchebag would have, not you. it was so out of character. and i had to pull it together and pretend to be happy for you and fine with it, but i wasnt. and im still not. it still sucks to think about it, or hear anything about it. just hearing your voice makes me think about it, but when i hear it even more i just think about all the reasons to why i still just want you in my life. just here, always. either way i know you will always be here for me. and if not then i must have f***ed up pretty bad. but i just need to tell you how much i miss being able to tell you how much i like you without thinking, “this is my old bestfriends boyfriend” “this is so vile and wrong” “hes going to be so mad if he ever finds out i still like him” or “i just wanna fix this” its so awkward not telling you how i miss you so f***ing terribly. and i wanna go back to when we met and be single, and get to know you and start something new. i wish i wasnt where i am right now, waiting around for pretty much an a****** to realize that chivalry never died, it was people like him that made it seem that way. but not you, you were always different, from everyone else. the way you talked, the way you acted, the way you smiled.. (: which by the way, is one of your best features. youre outlook on life was so much more inspiring than any f***ing book or quote, or history ive ever read or heard about. hearing you talk is like a religion, i believe it, i have faith in it. i would put my life in your words if i could. i trust every bit of what you say, youre my inspiration to be something better. to not let anyone in this f***ing place tell me whats right and whats wrong, whats black and whats white. you make me believe that what II say is true. and ive never felt that way. i know some people don’t have the ability i do to connect with you on that level and for that, i feel honored <3 i can listen to you talk about benjamin franklins quotes and your analogies for hours and i wont get tired of it, because im listening, im taking it all in. i promise i am. and you take in all of my crying, and my frustrations, and you turn them into lessons. i just, youre perfect. alec, i just miss you.

One thought on “11-08-11(8:00:09)

  1. Just A Wonder says:

    wow he or she must of been very specail huh!!!

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