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Posted by on 2013/03/05 under Uncategorized

I feel like everyone is so different then I am. I’m so much more mature than everyone else. I’m in 8th grade and I have friends that I was in because of my used to be kinda best friend. Get there soon. They don’t like me. I can’t relate to them. I blame myself. I don’t have a phone because i didn’t think I need it. The only person I’d be texting would be my mom, dad and maybe my best friend. Everyone has IPhones and boyfriends and best friends and the best clothes and smile! I’m just here with nothing. No friends at all. No phone. Not the best clothes. I work for what i want and everyone seems to complain about there’s when they have sooo much to be thankful for! I love my parents. They may not like me that much. I’m not the smartest kid on the block. In B classes. My older sisters are smart. A+ students. Top of all their classes. All going to college. They think I don’t try. When I do so very much. It’s like if something is blocking me from it. My brain tricks me. I feel like I’m doing good on a test. And I flunk it. I do everything right, but at the same time everything wrong. I’m so lonely and sad. Every time i try to talk to my parents i always get yelled at. My whole family acts as I’m dumb. They call mee the “special one.” I know they are trying to joke, but it hurts. They laugh at me when I ask a question I don’t know. My best friends. We used to be so close. Then over the years shes drifted away from me to her other friends/ my friends I guess. 6th grade we were still best friends. That’s the year she met her two other friends. I saw this and i didn’t mind ofcoarse. I was the happy bubbly girl, happier than anything. Normal. More the merrier right? They didn’t like me. That’s what I think because i was excluded from everything. In 7th grade my bestfriend was babysat by grandma who lives me so her and her brother came over everyday. she still excluded me from their new group. went to the mall without me sleepovers parties. everything. I thought ” we still hang out everyday, stop acting crazy.” Btw she used to live two houses down from me but she moved a town away in 8th grade and went too and new school for a coupe of months. I was there for her when her moms bf was hurting her and her brother were being irresponsible people. I comforted her. but i guess not good enough. In 7th grade i was so depressed and stressed from my grades. I barley talked all and thats when i started loosing ALL my friends. 8th grade I had no one. Nobody to talk to. When my best friend came back I was so happy. Hoping something would spark and we’d be best friends again. Nope. I talk to her barley now. We still like talk of coarse and she thinks im alright with everything. like nothing is wrong. I want to talk to her like we used to. tell her everything. Im scared. I don’t know why. Nobody understands me. I love my parents they don’t. I love them no matter what. It just hurts to always blame everything on myself. Why am I not good enough? Why am I not Smart Enough? Why am i Not pretty enough? my so called friends think im that sweet innocent girl. I used to be the funny class clown. I don’t know. I have no one to talk to. What should I do with my best friend? What do i say? What do i say to my parents

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