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Posted by on 2013/02/23 under Uncategorized

I think i done screwed up again, i use this website for an outlet to just write a bit, feeling thoughts well just anything really.
But today i left up something personal about one of my roommates. She might have seen it and is now very upset with me. On top of that i suffer from extreme depression, as much as i tried to put my best foot forward i could only feel myself coming off as creepy at times, ESPECIALLY when drinking was involved. Suffering from immense depression doesn’t help either i think. i push people away, i hurt them with words and i hide. Most of the time all i want to do is disappear.
I really tried hard though, to make things comfortable but my search for companionship was just to much. its like when ya tell someone “hey i like you” and then things get awkward. Ohh how so awkward they get.
Another thing Apologies only go so far, before someone just drops you. until they get sick of your s*** enough to just leave. Thats always a big fear of mine, mostly because i really don’t mean to say f***ed up things, i just do and then facepalm. all in all it just sucks and my friends really don’t deserve that sort of treatment, quoting inception, “you will die and old man full of regret” and alone i guess to.
i don’t know who reads this or if anyone cares, but if you do thank you. from the bottom of my heart. Most of the time i could never tell anyone in person these things, further more articulate my thoughts so well. Also i do apologize for the spelling a grammar, not the greatest writer nor at spelling.
well i guess that’s it 😀

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