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Posted by on 2013/02/04 under Uncategorized

I am telling you about Charlie because this is the first time I have really been able to open up since the issue. Charlie was my boyfriend, my best friend. We met when we were so young, and grew up to love each other. And Charlie was always there for me. He cared about me, he was the only one that did. And it never looked like he had something wrong inside him. But he did. Charlie had cancer. And he never told me about the problem because he did not want me to be scared. But one day he started to get really really sick. And he lost all of his hair quick. And he lived in the hospital and it was hard for me to even look at him because of all that we had shared. When Charlie was released from the hospital, we decided to make love to each other for the first time. It was and will always be the most beautiful moment of my life. I thought that because Charlie was outside of the hospital, things were going to be ok. Things were going to be better. But they were not, and was eventually put back into the hospital. He died the day after Christmas. And I broke. My insides feel apart. I could not eat. I could not sleep. I could not think. It has only been about a month, and I felt like I was ready to let all this go because I can’t keep it bottled up. But I miss him so much. I will never be able to love someone like I loved Charlie. He was so special. When I lost him…. I lost myself.

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