I am torturing myself i am playing a game of tug a war with myself and it is ripping apart my body, I want to love someone but i just don’t feel like i am boyfriend material, i also i don’t want to be in a relationship, because one it is distracting and 2 i am not used to it and it will be really weird also in high school a relationship may not last and i don’t want a broken heart or give someone a broken heart, and yet i still have these feeling for this girl, and i an finally letting go of her slowly, but i just it is so hard. I mean it is stupid it would be a challenge to get her in the first place and yet it is hard for me to even begin to get love. Sometimes i don’t know what i’m saying half the time…..