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Posted by on 2012/12/01 under Uncategorized

I’ve been sooo depressed lately. I decided to kill myself.
When i was 10 i was bullied to extream discomfort and cutting. I started to think “why am i still here! They obviously don’t want me here.”
I started going into deep cutting and thoughts. One of my “friends” said i should kill myself. I took her words in advance. One day i ran downstairs at 4 am and grabbed a knife. My mom woke up and saw me. Knife close to my chest. she stopped me straight away and threw me in a metal hospital. Im still there now. But maybe i should kill myself. To get out of everyones way. To stop the bullying. Hate. Broken hearts. I’ll be in a better place when i die. Everyone would be happy.
I just don’t know what to do!!! :'(

3 thoughts on “The day i might end it.

  1. I Care says:

    Please please please, don’t kill yourself. The world wouldn’t be better without you, you belong here. People are horrible but you need to hold your head up higher then them and live your life. Do what you want to do and be happy. I care if you kill yourself, you can’t leave this earth without effecting many people. And to that ‘friend’ they need to keep their f***ing mouth shut. Suggestion leads to very bad things. I know. I have been through the same thing, just keep your headup and try you best to ignore all these horrible people. Some people have nothing better to do then make others feel horrible. Lots of love sweetie <3 you are stronger than this

  2. Anonymous says:

    No do not do this to yourself. Killing yourself does not solve in any problems and I know you are stronger than that. Put your hand to your chest. Feel that? It is a heart beat and you are here for a purpose. Ignore the people that say that you can’t. Love the people who give you hope. And figure out your goals because you can do anything you dream. Get help. Talk to someone you really trust about the bullies. And your “friend” is a bully too. No one should ever do that to a person. I care about you.

  3. zack says:

    dude, f*** them! f*** ’em. You have a heart and a soul. If those people are making life hard for you, then they are not your friends, they are your enemies. And the best thing to do with an enemy is forget them; they are only still your enemy and still capable of messing you up if you keep them in your life.

    Dude, I don’t know how old you are or what’s gone wrong, and there isn’t anything I can really do for you. It’s not right for us to try and force you to do something you don’t want to do or make you try and feel better. Maybe time to find out what ‘better’ is for you, on YOUR terms. It’s something where you have to find out for yourself what better really is. Is better being dead? I don’t think it is because dead a state of being where anything is better or worse. It’s being nothing basically. You can’t enjoy it because you no longer have the ability to since you’re dead. So that’s not a real option. It’s kind of a s***ty version of a good plan. Besides, it (it being death that I am referring to) happens to all of us eventually and we don’t even have to try; it’ll just happen as we get older! It’s just a waste of energy to do the job for yourself.

    You might thing I’m kidding but it’s still got some truth in it. I believe that some people who attempt suicide do it because they are so distraught they get confused and pretend they’ll still be there to enjoy it afterwards. But no, you don’t get to enjoy it. It’s like drinking hard alcohol and then not getting to be drunk!

    For you to win you have to forget what everyone tells you and think for yourself. Decide for you what things are true, what things are false. Define things that you are not sure about. And make sure that whatever you decide, give yourself the benefit of the doubt; give yourself some slack! Give yourself some leeway to make mistakes and to piss people off and to hurt THEIR feelings for a change instead of the other way around. And I’m sorry you have to be in a mental hospital if you don’t want to be there. That’s really tough. It’s probably not a lot of fun if I had to guess. What helps me when I’m feeling down is I drink a lot of water, I eat a high protein diet, and I do some stretches and some planks to work out my abdominal muscles. Don’t laugh, it really works! Get a good hold on your planks and side planks and make sure to breathe. By the time you’re ready to leave the mental hospital you’ll be really strong feeling and probably attractive looking too, whether you’re a girl or guy and people will be like, ‘damn who’s that good looking girl or guy?’ and you’ll be like, “That’s right, b****es.”
    Like Pop-eye the sailor-man said, “I y’am what I y’am.”

    Good luck!!! 😀

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