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Posted by on 2012/05/05 under Friends

Is it worth keeping someone you immensely value? And losing one who matters just as much to you, in the process? But I find myself asking if I really mattered to you. If I did, wouldn’t you still be here, no matter what choices I made? Isn’t that the definition of a friend? Someone who sticks by regardless? I was that for you, but I must have gone wrong somewhere. I have so many questions right now. And I’ve just lost someone who matters so much to me. I don’t know if what I’ve done is worth it yet; it has yet to play out. All I know is that, even though you haven’t disappeared completely, I miss you bitterly. You loved me, but I saw you as a brother. And now I have a huge black hole where my heart should be. Even though you’ve vacated the spot I hold in my heart you, it will always be there, waiting for you to fill it again. I want to cry, but the tears won’t come. I can only hope you won’t turn out to be just another person I knew along the way. You matter so much to me, and I never wanted to lose you. I know you’ll never read this, but I hope you’ll somehow know how much I’ll miss you.

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