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Posted by on 2022/05/08 under Friends

I'm not okay, even when I tell you I'm okay, I'm not. Since you guys have let me back into the group, I'm not really in the group. There are times when you all are together somewhere I cant join and you don't invite me or even mention that you are together. Am I really your friend? because it feels like I'm not. It feels like I haven't been forgiven and it hurts. I know I can't force you guys to hang out with me. I'm just so sad all the time because of this, then and I have to pretend I'm alright around you and everything is fine when it is not. I am so tired of being sad and hating myself because I think I have done something wrong. There is no one I can talk to about this because if I mention it at all it makes you uncomfortable. So I keep all my feelings inside and when I'm alone I cry. I spend a lot of time alone. It feels like I'm being punished in a way. I just want things to go back before I messed things up. it just feels as if that is never going to happen. You cant say that I can join then go off without me. I'm still here by myself. Please let me be where you are.

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