Posted by Anonymous on 2013/11/14 under Friends Why am I writing this? It’s not like anyone will respond. Then again perhaps that’s what I want? Just someone to read my emotions and so I can let them all out. That is if anyone will actually end up reading this. It’s not like I’m going to let all every single one of my feelings out no no no that’s way too much. I will however tell how I hate myself. Ahh common in teenagers now a days apparently, which is really sad but then again it’s not like I hate myself for the way I look, no that doesn’t matter to me. I think everyone is beautiful on the outside no matter what. However it’s my personality that gets the best of me. I’m a pushover. And my lack of control of emotions don’t help. I get jealous very easily. I’m not talking about love relationships I mean I’m jealous whenever my friends talk and laugh with other people. Whenever they start talking about how much they love the other person or how much they enjoy talking to them I get jealous and feel as if I’m not good enough for them and that dont actually like me. I actually have that feeling a lot where I think that no one really likes me and they just feel sorry for me. I don’t talk much at school dice I’m shy an I don’t know how to have good communication skills and because of this my teachers think I’m depressed or some Shizz and they make me feel worse about myself. Because they worry about me and they make me feel as if i am depressed and never smile which is not true it’s just complicated but of course they wouldn’t understand. Tomorrow I’m going to sit in the hallway instead te lunch table where I normally sit. I want to see who cares for me. Who will actually come looking for me. I told my what I believe to be best friend that I was going to sit in the hallway and not the lunch table and I told her that I need time to think and sort out some emotions since its true. She responded with “okay.” Okay what? Okay I don’t really care your annoying I’m tired of you? Okay I understand? Okay whatever? Okay I’m confused are you all right? I don’t know what it means. I-I will see if she will come sit with me in the hallway to at least be there for me and keep me company. Then again I don’t want to keep causing her trouble. I let everyone down all the time. I’m not good at anything and I mean anything. I’m annoying worthless stupid and not important. I want to run away to a place where everyone is nice to me and they pay attention to me and there is equal respect and I will find out who I am. But I guess a place like that doesn’t exist now does it? Who cares about me? Who will be there tomorrow. I’m quite scared to find out. I hope she comes to sit with me. Thank you for taking your time reading this little outburst.
5 thoughts on “Just a little emotional outburst”
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hey there, i know how you are feeling right now, but you shouldn’t think like that. you are not worthless and there is a person in this world that lives just so that he/she can meet you later in your life and make you happy. I care about you, i want to make sure that you are happy, i want to make sure that you are more than “just fine”. i want you to be happy. i hope you read this and realize how you are a really valuable person and anyone would be lucky to call you their friend. i want you to know that if your best friend doesn’t show up tomorrow, then she is not really your friend. if that happens, dont feel bad, its just that your best friend doesnt see how important you are. i hope you feel better soon because you are completely worth it and you are an unique individual who is going to find great success in life.
That’s very nice however pointless. To say I care but no nothing of the person and just say I hope you feel better is not helpful…
Where do you live- the person who wrote this I mean. My advice visit Europe if you already haven’t. Different country’s different mentality. Almost everyone I know made there friends at uni or work and forget everyone in school (only a lucky few make a Bond there) people complain there alone or misunderstood because there sick of where they are. Save up join clubs meet new people and travel the world. You don’t have to put up with where you are or the people around you.
Also it’s small steps. You don’t like someone because there good at football or a great artist or because of there skill – you may admire them for it but you like them for there personality. Charisma you can develop it the more you become confident with your own voice and that comes with time and pushing your comfort zone
sometimes all someone needs is to know that someone cares about them, even though it might not be much, but i feel that even two words of kindness and a smile can make a huge difference in a person’s life. I don’t know the person personally so all i can say is that i hope it gets better for them, because i actually hope that it gets better for them indeed.
wow, its like reading my own thoughts here. i feel the same. I feel so little and unimportant. I hate being in the crowds because the people dont give a s*** about me. Most of the time I just run away. I feel safer when im alone.