Posted by Nonna on 2019/05/10 under Love To Recent HER To HIM To ME Glad I found this site again, I had forgotten all about it. Lets me get all this stuff out of my head finally. It's been a trying few months to say the least.
I just wanted to let you know that I would not mess with you on messenger. I also wanted to let you know that he and I did and have been talking about us since I let him know I read the messages between you two. And contrary to your belief things are cool with us. I told him he has to decide what he wants to do, and he made it. We will talk about our issues together going forward instead of him choosing to talk with a stranger. I can read him very well and I know when something is up. He on the other hand has trouble bringing up things we need to talk about, so I have to pull it out of him. I feel this is due to him not knowing and fearing what will come of the discussion. He needs to get over that. I am glad I found what I did before the conference weekend because I know how persuasive a woman can be when she wants to get a man in bed. He said he hoped I would have more faith in him that he wouldn’t do that, but I told him the same, women can be very persuasive.
Seeing how you went from “tell me about your love story” to “I wanted you to touch and kiss me” in two days is incredible. And I know you would have tried to get him in bed over the weekend for more than just laying there. You say shame on me for not talking to him sooner well shame on you for wanting a married man regardless of whether he’s happy in his marriage or not. You do not know what his life is like or what he’s like with his wife. There are always two sides to every story. Get both before you pounce.
You are correct, just because two people talk things out doesn’t mean things are cool. But it’s how those two people talk and what they change to make things right that makes things cool. You shouldn’t want to interfere with that.
Yes, I have been reading your messages. No, I have not tried to contact her and never will unless I see she is pushing you. I have been doing so since you mentioned finding your ex-girlfriend on Facebook. I began to worry about you trying to contact her again and what might come of it if you did. I also checked your iPad a few years ago when you used to use it to surf porn. I could tell when you did and realized you were doing it A LOT. After you quit using your iPad and started using your new phone, I stopped checking it. But I don’t trust you and that’s a fault of my own. I don’t know how to get over that.
You never really told her to stop contacting you. That you made a choice to stay with me and that you are not looking to hook up with anyone else. I don’t care if you feel what I did was wrong or not, but we shouldn’t have any secrets. I realize it’s easy for you to do whatever you want but you shouldn’t do anything with others that you feel you must hide from me.
I’m still checking your messenger, but you haven’t used it since you found out I’m reading them. I think you are now using your android messenger so I can’t read your messages. I think you are still hiding things from me, but I have no way of knowing it now. Puts me at a disadvantage for sure. How do I get over not trusting you? I need to stop looking at your iPad and I have tried but I have this nagging feeling that I might catch something one day. Even if you do use messenger, I’m sure you would be deleting it immediately so I’m not able to see anything.
I want to contact her to see what she says when I ask her if you two are still chatting. If she says I need to ask you, that means you are.
What did I realize this morning? I need to find out what you want and let you know what I want. The way a person shows love is the way they want to receive it but it’s not always the correct way.
I am afraid if I don’t show love the right way, you will go to someone else again. I need you to open up to me be intimate with me. I feel like you feel you have one up on me and that all this was my fault. I need to find out why you feel you can’t talk to me but can talk to other women.
Another HER
So, there is another HER in the mix. This one was from a few months ago. I found out about it by looking at phone records. 125 messages back and forth in one 8 hours period is definitely sexting. I asked him about it, and he admitted it. Said he put a stop to it after about a month. But he started up with the recent HER anyway. What gives?
He says he is truly sorry, and I believe him. And we are trying to move on. I still don’t trust him and wonder if he will eventually leave. Not to get too personal but over the past year he has not been able to “keep it up” more times than he has been able to. He says it’s all in his head and until he can clear it out it will be an issue. I believe it has to do with the relationships he’s created in the past year and all the sexting he’s doing with other women. I don’t know where to go from here. He won’t talk and is to impatient.