Gosh darnit! The phone folks aren’t coming until next tuesday at 2-5. I am bummed but it is just an opportunity for me to cultivate a greaat multiplicity (acts of patience) (the longest patience) so that I can get rid of this empty-emptiness of emptiness.
Help me understand that I am powerless over acts of surrender and that I cannot do anything to change the course of my fate and destination. So forth.
I feel like they are both simultaneously plotting against me but I can’t prove anything. When I think certain thoughts or have certain feelings they both stop like deer in headlights and then ignore me when I’m out here. They act like they are fighting but I don’t know what purpose it is serving.
I was doing something.
What was I doing?
Sitting?
That one day they talked about the lesbians on TV when I was in the purple room looking up something.
I don’t know why they are doing this? What point is it serving or is it just agendaless chaos?
Please help unconditionally accept this aspect of cotards delusion. I can’t do anything and they are waiting for me to act out so that they can pin the rest of it on me.
Can God intervene and make the invisible seen?
It’s not so fair. And it isn’t awesome and completely and totally utterly and thoroughly sucks. Why can’t they just pay me off already and stop?
Someone . . . God help me? Is there anyone out there? Ground control to major Thomas Pynchon? Please help me.
I feel like God can see what is going on or the infant christ or something? Please help me.
Please.
Silently Anonymous,
-The Archer
(the best thing I can do in this situation is dummy up). Help me get free.
They have these huge outbursts and then just go completely normal and blase.
What would Uncle Greg think about these events?
Can he see this stuff? That seems to be who they are serving.
I sent him a message the other day so I hope that helps this situation.
I just need to dummy up, there is nothing else I can do.
I just have to watch them act out their fantassies until they tire themselves out like little children. There is nothing more I can do. God as my witlessnessness.
Help me accept that they are not my friends. And that they do not care nor love me.
If they did all of these events wouldn’t have happened. I know I deserve more than what M. has and is giving to me. She is putting off helping me until she’s dead so she no longer has to “worry about it” and bert is just mooching off of the government until she dies of boredom.
God help me get through these last few trials. I don’t know how I am going to survive this event.
Silently Anonymous,
-The Archer
She just said something else, M. looks at me and laughs, Bert is in the kitchen cooking something. M. gasps lightly at the dateline content.
Clanking of dishes in the kitchen. Scratching face.
More laughter, and a tss tss tss sound. Items being uncovered in the kitchen. She just said something about over my head. It’s rape. And then something else.
She wrote a letter earlier that said I hate god because of something.
Cause I have the right to say no. Beth:
I had the right to say no to Gretch. That first day she asked me. I said I didn’t want company. I have the right to say no. The relationships. You have the vulnerability. You’re saying someone has a vulnerability. So but I love you but I’m not going to violate you because you have a vulnerability. But I’m not going to violate that vulnerability. Jack and Wretch came at me. For six years I had piece and joy. She didn’t have anyone to show her the morals. The aquarius. Alright okay.
He’s writing it down.
But I have the right to say no to them. But they said they had no right to come in.
Oh God. Kim:
Dr. Jamals office is calling.
I’m cancelling the appointment for tomorrow.
So can we call you back about when I can take her? After I look at my schedule and call off?
Even though I am not getting what I am supposed to perhaps be deserving of? I am earning a lot of 6.9LuvBux. And that will get me through the rest of these experiences of 12 steppers anonymous.
Just protect me from acting out and playing the victim and I can work the program as well as possibly I can.
I was gonna ask Kim if she wanted to get some beast burgers but I don’t know what personality is running her engine right now. I usually get hardcore guilted if I ask anything so I am writing to THE FAMILIAR for the sake of sanity and safety.
Good pain,
Gosh darnit! The phone folks aren’t coming until next tuesday at 2-5. I am bummed but it is just an opportunity for me to cultivate a greaat multiplicity (acts of patience) (the longest patience) so that I can get rid of this empty-emptiness of emptiness.
Help me understand that I am powerless over acts of surrender and that I cannot do anything to change the course of my fate and destination. So forth.
Silently Anonymous,
-The Archer
Conspiracies Anonymous,
Are they conspiring against me?
M. and Bert?
I feel like they are both simultaneously plotting against me but I can’t prove anything. When I think certain thoughts or have certain feelings they both stop like deer in headlights and then ignore me when I’m out here. They act like they are fighting but I don’t know what purpose it is serving.
I was doing something.
What was I doing?
Sitting?
That one day they talked about the lesbians on TV when I was in the purple room looking up something.
I don’t know why they are doing this? What point is it serving or is it just agendaless chaos?
Please help unconditionally accept this aspect of cotards delusion. I can’t do anything and they are waiting for me to act out so that they can pin the rest of it on me.
Can God intervene and make the invisible seen?
It’s not so fair. And it isn’t awesome and completely and totally utterly and thoroughly sucks. Why can’t they just pay me off already and stop?
Someone . . . God help me? Is there anyone out there? Ground control to major Thomas Pynchon? Please help me.
I feel like God can see what is going on or the infant christ or something? Please help me.
Please.
Silently Anonymous,
-The Archer
(the best thing I can do in this situation is dummy up). Help me get free.
They have these huge outbursts and then just go completely normal and blase.
What would Uncle Greg think about these events?
Can he see this stuff? That seems to be who they are serving.
I sent him a message the other day so I hope that helps this situation.
I just need to dummy up, there is nothing else I can do.
I just have to watch them act out their fantassies until they tire themselves out like little children. There is nothing more I can do. God as my witlessnessness.
Help me accept that they are not my friends. And that they do not care nor love me.
If they did all of these events wouldn’t have happened. I know I deserve more than what M. has and is giving to me. She is putting off helping me until she’s dead so she no longer has to “worry about it” and bert is just mooching off of the government until she dies of boredom.
God help me get through these last few trials. I don’t know how I am going to survive this event.
Silently Anonymous,
-The Archer
She just said something else, M. looks at me and laughs, Bert is in the kitchen cooking something. M. gasps lightly at the dateline content.
Clanking of dishes in the kitchen. Scratching face.
More laughter, and a tss tss tss sound. Items being uncovered in the kitchen. She just said something about over my head. It’s rape. And then something else.
She wrote a letter earlier that said I hate god because of something.
Cause I have the right to say no. Beth:
I had the right to say no to Gretch. That first day she asked me. I said I didn’t want company. I have the right to say no. The relationships. You have the vulnerability. You’re saying someone has a vulnerability. So but I love you but I’m not going to violate you because you have a vulnerability. But I’m not going to violate that vulnerability. Jack and Wretch came at me. For six years I had piece and joy. She didn’t have anyone to show her the morals. The aquarius. Alright okay.
He’s writing it down.
But I have the right to say no to them. But they said they had no right to come in.
Oh God. Kim:
Dr. Jamals office is calling.
I’m cancelling the appointment for tomorrow.
So can we call you back about when I can take her? After I look at my schedule and call off?
Oh thank you so much.
You too. Bye bye.
Silently Anonymous,
-The Archer
Even though I am not getting what I am supposed to perhaps be deserving of? I am earning a lot of 6.9LuvBux. And that will get me through the rest of these experiences of 12 steppers anonymous.
Just protect me from acting out and playing the victim and I can work the program as well as possibly I can.
Silently Anonymous,
-The Archer
I was gonna ask Kim if she wanted to get some beast burgers but I don’t know what personality is running her engine right now. I usually get hardcore guilted if I ask anything so I am writing to THE FAMILIAR for the sake of sanity and safety.
Eunice is the mother of Timothy in the new testament? As well as meaning “good victory”.
Will I ever understand why this cliche is being done with me and to me?
Will it ever make sense or absolutely not?
I have never been so bemused and confused and befuddled in all of my 27 years.
A naked intention for God. Can God hear God, God?