Posted by Anonymous on 2015/07/23 under Uncategorized i just don’t know how to describe the feelings i have, I really have never felt this way about anyone in my life. It is really hard to tell you what exactly i am feeling, but I suppose here I go. Ever since the day we met it’s like you have brought a new light to my eyes, its like you have taken away the darkness within my heart. Every time I am not with you I get this feeling of gut rot, as if the only thing I hope for is some kind of contact with you. It’s been rough trying to keep it a secret but I am going to do my best I don’t want to push you way I only want you to become closer. I don’t know if that is possible but I think this time I am going to give it all my heart for the very first time in my life. I don’t know how to approach this but I almost am drawn to you, perhaps all that I have observed is just my mind wanting something I know is out of reach, but I owe it to myself to at least try. I must take things slowly, but I hope with a lifetime of waiting and I will wait longer that I can achieve true and utter happiness. I understand you have your reasons for hiding but I can feel it I can feel you, your touch, and everything in between. I had a dream about you last night it really wasn’t sexual at all this is not what this is about. This is about passion about love, joy, happiness, so here in this journal I give you all of my heart, everything I have, I would be willing to put on the line for you, we have only know each other for a short time, but from that very moment I was drawn to you, I feel as if we are meant to be together, but then that would also explain a delusion, a fantasy, something I want but I can’t have, perhaps I will not find happiness, I am going to strive for it but I suppose it will take a leap of faith and I am not sure I am ready to take that jump. I can only hope I don’t push you too far away where you become out of my reach, this is all I have and all I want. My life has been interesting, good, bad and some mixed in, I tend to over dramatize things in my life maybe because I desire the attention maybe I am just truly insane. I do know that in every fiber of my being I want to be with you no matter the cost no matter the lifetime of disappoints I may have to endure, I will give it all to have the chance to be with you. We all want happiness in our life but do we really understand what that means, I believe I do. It comes at a price one that when they have it are not willing to pay, If some day my words break through if the hints are picked up i hope you embrace them, before I will be your best friend, your companion, you lover, and most of all the one person in the world who you can connect with on a deep emotional level.
4 thoughts on “Love, Lust or passion?”
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Be aware. Don’t think about the problems, think about the solution.
Get ahead. Don’t let anything bar you from progress, especially in love.
Be conscious. Don’t push if they shove, love is as reasonable as it is mysterious. Unreasonable love only begets problems from within.
Thanks, I needed that but I am still unsure… it hurts too much to think about the what if
Beautifully written very relatable too. Hope it works out fine for you.
Hey, I just wanted to give and update, things are not going to work out I don’t believe. I really was hoping for something more but I really can’t take it. I am not one who ever cries not even when families members have passed away or family pets my heart as always been steal.
I let the cage of my heart open for just a brief period of time and it feel like it is slowly being crushed. I know we say we will love again but I thought I loved before but it was nothing like this. What I felt was pure happiness, it was literally a miracle, but as they say fantasies are delusions of the mind.
I am very thankful for the support you have given me, but now comes only darkness, I know how to suppress and shield myself from the miseries of love and emotion. I really wanted my happy ending and I would have waited a lifetime for it but I do know now with 100% certainty that the feelings are not from the other person.
It hurts and it kills and all I want to is hold them and be together but life is a test that just is sometimes unwinnable no matter how much you want or need to win.